Saturday, November 2, 2013

Bitter Sweet

Ok, Nov 1st. STarting of the weigh only once a month and measure and take photos saga. I need this. I gained F'ing 2.4 lbs this week. REALLY? I HATE YOU SCALE!!!! I have been pooping my ass off because my son brought home a bug and first dad got it then me so my mom said "Maybe it's your body retaining water because you've lost so much?!" My retort was  "It's always something!" because it really seems like it is. First it's my period, then it's "a lb of muscle weighs more than a lb of fat "( last time I checked a pound is a pound?!), now it's water retention. Whatever, F you scale! My husband, when talking about what the scale told him he says it's a compulsive liar, and I believe it. Ok, so now that the scale issue is out of the way I have snuck off to measure. The last time I measured was October 19th and I have before in the past but never wrote a date down so the I'm just going to post what the earliest recordings are. I'm actually happy with these which is proof that measuring an weighing only once a month will be killer good for me and my "must get to a certain number" mind set. Here's the results:

There you have it. My big ol body measurements! Again, since I don't have a date (I really think it was around 6 months ago) for the first time nor did I measure for each category you get an idea! In my bust I've lost 1.75" in my waist I've lost 2", stayed the same in my tummy, lost .5 in my thigh, and 1.5" in my calf! A total loss of 5.75 inches. That's amazing! I think it's even more amazing because "they" say it's always hardest to lose the inches because that fat's been there the longest (or something? haha). I'm surprised my thighs haven't lost more since I can feel them burn while peddling the bike but I guess it's more calf muscle than anything, eh? If we go off the first measurements I've lost a total of 11.75 in the categories that I measured for. So, I'm extremely happy about this. I'm glad I snuck off to do this because I needed to and it's part of this and it's made me feel better about that fucking scale making it a point to ruin my life. The next Saturday next month is a whole week in to December so do you think I should do the last Saturday in November or just literally start at the first of each month? Saturday's have always been my weigh days so I just get all freaked out about changing the days even though now that I'm doing once a month it really shouldn't matter, right? 

Whipple, out. 

Friday, November 1, 2013

OOTD: Walmart Special and Outcast feelings

Yes. Tomorrow is Saturday, my first 1 month weigh in, measure and photo taking. Even if I get on the scale and it is up I'm gearing myself up to see what happens. Again, I'm putting too much stock into the number on the scale and not enough thought into my other numbers and factors. I feel great, I'm able to bike farther/easier, clothes still fitting great, etc. So, we'll see. I'll post my first measurements here, EEK!, but ya know, whatever.

Lately, I've been kind of feeling like a blogger outcast. While this did start of a weight loss blog I really fell into the Fat Positive Movement. And if you haven't heard about that, Google it, basically it's people loving their bodies as it is. I've blogged about it before and it's really great BUT most of the F.A. people are against any sort of Diet talk and you MUST love your body how it is... that's great for them but I DO not love my body as it is. I should, but I don't. We all should, but we don't. I know my great husband married me at my highest weight and he doesn't care about my weight but I'm sure he does care when I shy away from his touch, or throw a MAJOR fit when he see's me getting dressed in the morning, or the fact that I've only just recently let him keep the light on in the shower (yes we shower together and it took all sorts of guts on my end however many years ago to get past this, but it's usually always done in the dark, or light from the closet). There are certain spots I bite his face off if he tries to touch (my hideous belly, gross arms, back rolls, etc.), so no I am not happy with my body BUT I don't think I any longer have this delusional image in my head that I'll be some skinny HAPPY girl. I know I'll always be a "plus size" girl but my body won't limit me from doing certain things. It's not that I'm not happy now, I am pretty happy, but I want to be able to do more.  Blah blah blah, so I can't be a part of the Fat Positive movement can I be a part of the weight loss crowd? I kinda want to be in the middle. I want to start my own movement!
Wow, Anyway! The entire reasons behind this post was my outfit today. I was at Walmart the other day and found this great black and grey striped dress for like $14 and I wanted to get it because I thought it would look great with my first pair of real leggings, also from Walmart, for like $9! I really didn't have any sort of outfit to go with the leggings as everything was not cut right or too busy of a pattern and I got 3 compliments on this today. The photo is pretty silly in it self but I didn't go see my mom at lunch (my usually photographer of my outfits, haha) so this will have to do for now. I really need to geta  better one. I, as always, ditched the belt the dress came with and wore my wide black belt and a cardigan from Lane Bryant. I love the little detail in the neck line of the dress. It's really adorable. Ok, here's the bad picture :) Let you "all" know how tomorrow goes!

Monday, October 28, 2013

New Blog Name, Need Your Help!

Ok so when I created this blog the last thing that was on my mind was a title, or name so I just sat thinking for a minute and just came up with something quick to get going. Now, I'd like to change the name! Here are a couple I've come up with:

Does anyone have any other ideas? I am struggling because I want to emphasis this IS a weightloss blog but I want to be more into fashion too!? Ack. Ideas?! Votes for your favorite above? HELP!

Yeaaah.... Really?

It's been a hectic weekend so I'm sorry I didn't post but also, in reality I was pissed off and just didn't find the time to do it. GAINED .4! Seriously. No "cheating", biking EVERYDAY and I gained .4. Yes, still could be muscle build up, etc, wah wah wah but once again I'm changing things up. I get too off put by these weekly weigh ins so starting November, I'm going to weigh the first Saturday in the month and take measurements and photos. I've sen other weight loss bloggers do this and it seems to help to not reply soooo damn much on that F'ing number on the scale. I still feel great, my clothes (even now the size 20's) are feeling loose and it's just that number that still STAYS the damn same! Still not falling off the wagon or anything so that's good. I think I'm over that part. I am bound and determined to break through this plateau! So the next time I get on the scale will be this Saturday but not again until December. I feel this whole year has been a tragic waste. I'm only down 14.6 lbs from the first week in January. At least I'll be ending the year less than what I was last year. That's an easy accomplishment to keep. Curious to see how this goes. I've been stepping on the scale once a week for about two years now, I can imagine myself stepping on it during the week or on a Saturday but not going to record anything. I'll try my hardest to not step on it because that will defeat the whole purpose of this. Whether or not I go back to weekly weigh ins I will still take new measurements each month because I too think those are important.

Enough of my bitching for today.

Thursday, October 24, 2013

Today I Feel: Anxious

Have you ever seen one of those charts that asks you how you feel and you are supposed to select which face you feel? Picture that. Today I'm feeling anxious.  Why you ask? Well I promised myself I'd lose another 2 lbs this week and if I lose it wil be the first time in probably 6 months that I have lost 1-2 lbs for two weeks in a row AND it will be my lowest yet. Can I do it? *announcer voice*Will she make it folks? OR will she falter like so many times past? Stay tuned to find out on this week's episode of... "I'm Fat and I know it". * Yes, I played that little number out in my head just now in my announcer voice. :)  Anyway I was pretty jazzed this week and I've been GREAT! Biked everyday, over 2 miles most were 3 or 4 miles, I haven't gone out to eat, I have been under my calories and eaten a few more when the app yelled at me and said I wasn't eating enough, I am anxious not only to see if I lost weight this week but also pretty excited and want to hope for the best but prepare for the worst, as my mother once said to me.

Also, I have found this past year with me being 100% about the diet, point in case this blog. I've been around 29 years and not once have I thought, "Let's make a blog about losing weight!" No. I've lived life, and had ups and downs with my weight but never was so much of my life dedicated to it. This is both good and bad. Good because I feel I didn't waste my life away striving to be something I wasn't currently I was able to throw caution to the wind and just LIVE. Bad because I feel I missed out on some stuff because my weight was limiting and I feel I've just grown more as a person who wants to take care of them selves so they have a better future with their family type deal. I must find the happy medium, wanting to be able to live and not feel so consumed with calories, and points and the number on the scale or if I eat that how many points is it? How many calories is it? "EAT THE DAMN THING, JUST ONE, BUT DON'T DWELL ON IT!" is what the other side of me is saying. Ok, I feel like I'm rambling now, point? I want to live life to the fullest but still attain some of the cautiousness I posses.

On another note, the tattoo is healing well. Took the plastic bandage off today and now it's just try and tender still. It's beautiful! I have no regrets about getting it.

Whipple- OUT.

Monday, October 21, 2013

OOTD: Hooter Sweater!

Hey kids,

Went to Old Navy to return something I wasn't pleased with and picked up this Owl sweater for 40% off. I had seen it before and tried it on and knew I had to have it the instant I looked at myself. They also had a fox one there but I don't think they had my size, in any event I got this one and have gotten 5 compliments on it today. It's fun! I think it looks great. You know what doesn't look great? These pants that are 5 sizes too big!!!!! Look at how saggy they are, they make me look so stumpy. I still wear them because I like the material more than my other black slacks, they are more of a silky feeling as opposed to wooly feeling and my other ones make me insecure because they seem really short to me, like high waters so I steer clear when I can but after looking at this picture it makes me think it may be time to retire these? I've gotten my money out of them. I think I bought them in 2006 haha. Now you see how ofton I was able to shop! I actually have 3 pairs that I bought at the same time and they are all equally saggy, baggy looking now that I think of it. I'd say about 80% of my wardrobe needs a major overhaul but that will have to wait!

Oh, also,  I now know I'll be able to "let" myself get one of my blazers altered! I know I'll be getting to 259 this week and that was the goal I had set HOW MANY MONTHS AGO that if I did I'd reward myself by getting one of my favorite jackets altered. yay!

Blah blah blah, here's the Owl Sweater:

Also, in one of the other blogs I follow I saw these two images and I'm simply in love with them! The frog one is basically how I feel when I have some delicious morsel in front of me and know I should stop eating but I just can't and the other one needs no introduction:

I really want to buy a pancake necklace now haha. Ok, I'm done for the day!

Saturday, October 19, 2013

Ending the Day still feeling good

Today was a fabulous day. I feel so good about the 4 lb loss, I'm ecstatic. I think the exercise and calorie counting worked in conjunction to slingshot me! I am now .4 lbs away from my lowest I have achieved yet and I KNOW, I promise, I will achieve past that this next week. My husband and I went on an over 4 mile bike ride this afternoon and it was fabulous too. I don't recall getting out of breath once! My thighs started to ache at some points from constant pedaling but, again, not that I recall did I get out of breath and this was the longest we have gone so far!

I also measured myself and have lost about 3 inches in my waist! I triple checked my numbers to make sure that was right. I've also decided to not really have a splurge weekends. I'd usually just not track on the weekends but I think it's crucial to stay on track on the weekends. Saturday went great, I was still under my caloric intake by 4 calories so whoohoo! I think by staying on the right track over the weekends will make me work that much harder during the week.

My husband was right, we made the best decision on getting these bikes and even though it's going to start cooling down I commit to getting out there and riding and challenging myself to new heights! Ok, on this positive note I'm going to bed! ;)

Whipple out.

Scale is moving again! In the right direction I may add!

What a great week! Personally speaking anyway, work sucks. I read a page online I think it was Wednesday on the 8 top reasons you aren't losing weight. Of course I had to read it. The one that I connected with the most was getting discouraged and falling off the wagon when you don't see the scale go down. We rely too much on the scale. Other changes are happening that we can't see on on a day to day basis but they are happening! So th last two weeks were slow going even though I was eating correctly AND biking every day I lost a combined 1 lb so I was discouraged but knew I had to stick with it to get over this plateau and so reading that website story really kept me looking ahead to the goal and guess what?! I lost 4 lbs this week! Amazing! Did I mention I switched over to calorie counting as opposed to the WW app? I think I did. My Fitness Pal is what I'm using and it's pretty good, taking some time to get used to but I like the pointers it gives. After I complete an entry for the day it tells me what I should weigh in 5 weeks if I stay on the current track and of course the disclosure that that is just what could happen not what will happen, but last night I had like 400 calories remaining at 8 o clock and completed my entry and it gave a warning that I'm not eating enough calories. Thank you! This is one of the things that I was worried about last week, not eating enough, as funny as it sounds, so my coworker had made a recipe (we call them Dingle balls) but they are really called Date Energy balls (found here) and I loved them so much so I made them last week. Well, we had 5 left and if I ate 4 I'd get enough calories for the day to not be "starving" so I ate 3, I sacrificed one to my husband :) They were a great desert, perfect sized and really hit the chocolately goodness crave even when there is no chocolate in them.

I DID get the tattoo last night and the most awesome owner of 314 worked with me on the price because that was what I was most worried about and my son is having some health issues right now so I just wasn't sure if I should get a tattoo when my son needs to go see the doctor ($150 a pop), anyway he was so great and we did half of it in trade for priting (which he has been talking about doing for over a year haha) so I just can't say how great that is. It's about 8:20 am on Saturday and I go in today to get the black bandage taken off, get it cleaned and have the clear healing tape put on so then I can see it. The last time I looked at it, aside from the red swelling and bleeding (yuck) it looked freaking fabulous. I'm so excited. My grandmothers beautiful face is now on my shin for eternity and she will always be facing forward and taking me down the correct path in life. Some of my family text me, after I had text them a photo of the stencil, "Wow, that's big!" I responded I'd rather have big and badass than small and not a likeness of her. She was a big part of molding me into who I am and I'm elated to do this for her... Even though she's prob. looking down from heaven cursing me because she hated tattoos but I love them and I loved her so THERE grandma! :)

Also got my iPhone 5S last night and it's nice. I like the slimmer body but taller is weird because I have to stretch my finger up further to access some buttons. The fingerprint scanner is lame because anyone who follows me on Facebook knows I bitched about having to wait a millisecond longer for the new iOS 7 to come on when I tap the home button, but now with the fingerprint scanner it's even longer, I have no patience and I want it to open NOW. I just turned that feature off. I saw an ad for a Android where it would play music with just your voice command and I'm realllllly thinking Apple needs to integrate that because I often think "Man, can't I just tell Siri what I want her to do and when I say some sort of keyword she'll turn on and do it?!" because I don't think I can stand to have another Android. They are doo doo, just too used to loving and owning Apple products. :)

Anywhoo, I'm blabbing because I had a good day. Now, I'll be off shortly to have lunch with my good friend and spend the rest of the day with my husband and son. Back to work after that (Monday, I hate you). Ciao all.

Monday, October 14, 2013

Calorie counting VS Weight Watchers

Still going. Lost a measly .6 lbs this past week. What the hell? My dumb lady monthly thing started today (Monday) so maybe it was still that rearing its ugly head? Biked 5 out of 7 days last week, sadness I had to skip two days because it was a rainy doo doo mess outside! The no pasta/bread was somewhat easy but that didn't seem to help. Am I not eating enough? Surly I'm not over eating as I' always under on my Weight Watcher points so this weeks goal is to do a calori counter. My friend suggested I use MyFitnessPal, a free app, that helps you track calories. We'll see how this goes. Starting sucks because none of my foods are saved so I have to go in and re-enter stuff whereas my Weight Watcher Point tracker had most all my foods entered into it. Oh well, if it helps I'll do it. Can ANYONE suggest anything else?! I can't get past this pleateau and it's driving me mad because I've added some fitness to my routine and so far it doesn't seem to help at all :|

In other news, pretty sure I've found my exercise of choice! This daily biking really makes me feel good! I find myself yearning for the next ride, or another ride, soon after I catch my breath from the first one. Hoping the good weather lasts longer and I can get more rides in. I'm finally starting to feel more comforted on the seat than I was before, that really got me down, but now it's hardly a problem. Today my legs are sore after our weekend riding. We took my husbands kids in their bikes out on Saturday around town and to the park and then did two rides yesterday. Good fun, gets us all out of the house and is good for us.

So, you all know I've recently been on this clothing thing and what's so funny is the two things I'm most self conscious about are my tummy and my arms. My arms are sooooooooo f'ing flabby because that seemed to be where I lost weight first so wearing short sleeves my whole day revolves around not making sudden movements because I don't want that flab to fly, or keeping my arms close to me, as in moving closer to objects so I don't have to extend my arm out as far but I was thinking, I've bought a ton of dresses lately that have skinny shoulder straps. I just thought that was funny as I was looking through my wardrobe to try to find something to wear and all I see is dress dress dress dress etc. :)

Back to calories/weight loss, anyone have any tips? Pretty much still proud of myself for going even after these past three weeks where I've lost like .4 and .6 lbs. Marching on!

Thursday, October 10, 2013

Skin Removal Surgery VS Tattoo.... TATTOO!!!!

For those of you who aren't in my head hearing and seeing the daily battles I have with myself this is for you! In a past post I had mentioned how I sometimes feel like I want to get the surgery for weightless but I grapple with that because #1 I KNOW there are people out there that when you tell them you got the surgery they are like "OH, took the easy way out eh?!" and they think you're a big piece of crap etc. even though they have no idea that it is a lot of work too... from what I hear anyway, #1B I want to lose the weight on my own so when people ask I can say yep, did it myself, weight watchers, exercise and good habits finally paid off... or whatever word formation I will spout out at the time (even though now that I'm thinking about it if I ever DID get the surgery I could just say I eat right and exercise because I'd still have to eat right and exercise... hummm...) and feel good about doing it on my own. #2, risks! there are a lot of risks that come with major surgeries that I'm not sure if I want to chance. Lastly, #3, Insurance won't pay for the initial surgery so I can't imagine ponying up the amount for the surgery. One thing is for sure the day I get near my ultimate goal (150-160) I will have a LOT of loose skin that I will want removed. I hear it's a painful surgery but totally worth it. Right now I have so much flab in my arms it battles for first place in being the body part I'm most self conscious of and hate the most so I can only imagine as I go further along in my journey other body parts will become a flabby mess too! SO if I ever got the weight loss surgery I'd have to pay for both procedures out of pocket so I always told myself I'd rather lose the weight on my own and opt for the skin removal at the end of the journey.

Now, I read an eCard the other day that said "Welcome to middle class. Where you have enough money to pay your bills and taxes and not anything else" or something along those lines and I couldn't agree more! I make a lot (I think?) for the area I live in and at the end of the money we're still pulling money out of savings! I know my clothes shopping was insane lately and there are always major items that seem to creep up but I'll have to take out a small loan to get this surgery because Lord knows insurance won't pay so I keep thinking I need to save up for that, then what do I go and do? Schedule a tattoo for next week! I can't help myself! :( It's going to be a beautiful portrait of my grandma that I'm so stoked about. So there is the problem. Spend the hundreds on a tattoo that is going to be beautiful and a constant reminder of the love I had for my grandma and pull the money out of savings or not get it and  in reality not save the money I would of spent on the tatty but years down the line wish I had a special savings account for?! ACK! I hate being poor and we're not technically poor! Ridiculous. I have money issues. Maybe I should start allocating some small amount into a fund each week or month for the skin removal surgery so WHEN the time comes it won't be such a blow? Should I not get the tattoo because I know there are other things the family/household needs instead? I feel terrible spending money on myself and only do it rarely (with the exception of my clothes spree lately, if you see my closet and all the ill fitting clothes I have you'd send me money too haha)  and when I DO make a big purchase I fight about that in my head on weather or not I should of done and if I should take it back, I'd say 50% of the time I take it back.  ANYWAY, thoughts? Opinions?

Wednesday, October 9, 2013

OOTD- Red Dress

For my husbands birthday (this past May) I decided to have some semi risque photos of myself as a gift for him. I had put off finding clothes for this until that last minute, imagine that! I went to the Dress Barn and found this dress and thought it was perfect for the pin uppy feel I was going for. I grabbed it, in a size 22 (I was used to getting a 24) because that was all they had left and I was bummed, I decided to try it on anyway! I got into the dressing room and right off the bat knew it wouldn't fit, but I kept going to see how terrible I'd look in it. I pulled it down and holy crap it fit, like a glove! I instantly loved it and HAD to have it. Of course I bought it. I have worn it to work twice now and I feel a bit self conscious in it because it does fit like a glove and it's about 2 inches shorter than I'm comfortable with but I still like it and I feel pretty in it.This outfit is actually from last week, sorry guys, I wanted to post the hounds tooth dress first! :D

Next time I'll iron it!
Now that I'm looking at it, it isn't as tight as I imagine. I love that!

Tuesday, October 8, 2013

OOTD - Houndstooth

Yesterday I had posted that I got this fabulous dress from Walmart, you can see it below! I had wandered into the clothes section there  because I noticed they had some UBER cute stuff out lately but didn't have the change to stop and check sizes. That day I did and to my surprise they went up to an XXL, my new size, so I got crazy... within the time limit that I thought my husband wouldn't miss me. I picked up two sweaters that were the same but different colors, a skirt, a button down sweater and this dress. All except this dress are going back, I think. I don't know if they had plus size gals in mind when they made those other items. The skirt, while cute, was very bushy looking where the elastic met the fabric adding volume where I definitely don't need it and the zipper was cheap so I just didn't even have a second where I thought I might keep it. The 2 same sweaters I got are darling, one seemed smaller than the other and the buttons pulled something awful so you could just peek right under neath. The other, I'm actually having a mind battle inside my head weather or not to keep it. It would be a perfect piece to wear with my striped pencil skirt, and I really don't have any other tops that aren't patterned to wear with that skirt sooooo I might keep that too. We'll see how I feel in a couple days. Ok, blah blah blah, here's the dress:

My mother made me do this pose. I feel so dumb when she's taking my pic so I obliged!
 It's a fabulous Houndstooth print dress that flares just at the midsection and flows away from the body, doing wonders for my figure. It came with a thin black belt and I learned the last time from wearing a thin black belt that I look pregnant so I nixed that thing and wore this black belt that I got from Torrid years ago. I had originally put a badass thick red belt with it but alas it's WAY TOO BIG and I doubt I can ever wear it again, unless I wear it over some sort of coat. It's depressing but inspiring at the same time! Speaking of coats.... did I mention I was at Old Navy this past week? YES AGAIN! Don't judge me monkey. I had a 25% off deal and wah wah wah, they have certainly reeled me in with their unlimited supply of 20% off discounts. I tried this coat on and I COULD NOT leave the store without it. It's so dang cute! I can picture myself wearing it with some cutesy pink scarf thing (this will prob. never happen but it's a cute image in my mind ok!) and I had to get it, plus it fit like a glove and it's a pea coat. Nuff said. Here it is too:

Should of buttoned up all the way so you can see its true beauty!

It's adorable and I love it! I am really loving the things that are coming with my weight loss. Posts like these make it possible for me to keep going and telling myself that I can do this and reach my goal of 200 lbs by next September! Go team!

Monday, October 7, 2013

Mini Goal's

Hey Kids,

I am going to say I made my last mini goal last week. My goal was to bike everyday during the week, even if it were for a small amount of time, just get out of the house and go! I did everyday except Thursday because it was like a blustery ballsack outside and there was no way I was taking myself or my son out in that, then Friday it was still pretty windy but not as bad, I had originally planned to not go but my son kept saying "ride? ride? ride? ride? ride? ride?" he's like a broken record BUT it was motivation enough to get me to go. It was good and bad. Good because I actually got out and got the much needed exercise and bad because it WAS so damn windy! I literally had to turn around after going down one street because the wind resistance was terrible and it was chilly! Anyway, the seat on the bike is STILL hurting my *ahem* lady area so the hubster and myself may go in the bike shop sometime this week to have my ass bones measured to see if I can get a more comfortable seat, still peadled on through it yesterday. My friend and I went out Wednesday last week and she was saying how in no time I'd be able to get up these little hills and it's so funny because yesterday I was in 6th great the whole time and did notice I blasted right up a hill that had rendered me breathless last time and I only went to 5th gear on the hill by our home so that was great! Usually a good portion of the ride is spent in Granny 1st gear so that's good.

The bad news? I gained a pound this past week. I know right?! I'm outraged BUT I'm thinking it's a 1 of 2 things if not both: 1: My monthly lady exclamation is hangign over my head so I'm probably all bloated and what not and 2: since I DID bike 99% of the week maybe my legs are gaining muscle? If so it will pay off in the end but I always hate seeing the scale go up when I've worked so hard.

So, as promised, here I am blogging my at-least-once-a-week-post and also setting another mini goal so I am not discouraged and brought down into the same funk I usually am after gaining and working so hard the prior week.

Not only will I bike everyday, even if just 5 minutes, but I am also cutting out the dreaded CARBS. This may or may not be permanent but I need a boost. I LOVE pasta and I LOVE delicious magical bread items so I think this will be a great challenge for me. The pasta deal is going to be toughest because we as a family eat pasta, in fact, tonight's meal that is currently in the slow cooker calls for pasta but I will scoop my meal out before I put the pasta in. I will do my very best to avoid these key items. I was going to do carbs AND sugar but figured I'd aim low because if I do  sugars I'd do processed doo doo food as well so let's take it one week at a time and see how well I do!

I bought a killer dress at Walmart of all places and I'm excited to show it off so look forward to that post late this week!

Whipple, out!

Wednesday, October 2, 2013

Guest Post!

I follow a blogger and she recently asked for guest bloggers so this was my chance to get an idea out that I had been pondering for a while! You can read my guest post Here ! It's about my undies though, so you've been forewarned! :D

Remember how good it feels when.......

The title of this post is my recent inspiration. "Remember how good it feels when...." I get a compliment on how great I look, or I'm able to fit into smaller clothes, etc. This is what is keeping me motivated right now. When I want to eat something that I know I don't need and I know the calories are off the charts I think of that inspiration line and 8 times out of 10 I pass on the naughty food. Those other 2 times I'm like "Screw it, Life's too short, I'm eating that!" In my last post I set the goal of getting out on the new bike at least once a day this week and so far I'm meeting that goal, yes, it's only Wednesday but the fact that I still enjoy doing it is a feat in itself! I also set a goal on my Run Keeper App to go 7 miles this week and I'm already 70% there. I set my goals low so I can overcome them! Next week I'll bump it up to 8 miles and so on. I feel pretty good about the cycling, I'm also going to another pole dancing class this month with my friend and I'm excited for that as well.

I've got a super busy month ahead of me but I love it. Better than being a bump on a log! What is your inspiration? Do you have inspiration?

Saturday, September 28, 2013

Official Pole Dancer!

Ok, Yes. I said Pole Dancer! I got an online deal for a Pole Dancing party with you and your closest friends and I bought a voucher! There were three of us in total that attended and it DID NOT disappoint! Now, you're probably thinking "POLE DANCING?! Did she get another job we didn't know about?" I think the word Pole Dancing has a bad connotation to it so I prefer to call it pole aerobics. We started with just some basic moves. My bestie said she had a blast but wished we focused more on the basics and I totally agree but I am taking this for what it was... an introduction overview of the things you'd learn more on in the class! It made me want to go back for more, my gals too. The instructor was fabulous. A cute gal named Annie runs Southern Utah Pole Dancer is the instructor and I assume owner. She was very kind to us bumbling first timers and patient. We learned several moves that I'd NEVER be able to recall the names of the moves to you but could describe them.

Basically I was so stoked about this to be able to step outside my usual boring day to day routine and do something fun and that provided great exercise. My only regret is I wish I would of taken a video of the one combination I felt comfortable with so maybe next time! :) Below is a photo of my and one of y friends and the other is with the badass instructor hanging above me! Check this place out St. George ladies. I'd love to go with anyone Saturday at 7pm!

OLE! haha

In other news, Did I blog about my loss last week? I'm pretty sure I did but here it is again: I lost 4 lbs last week which was a great but knowing myself and not going to get excited and following suite I didn't even lost a lb this week, it was like .6 (if you've read my earlier posts, can you see a pattern here?!). I must figure a way to fix this. Maybe switching up what I have for lunch? So for the past two weeks for breakfast I have 2 eggs, 2 pieces of bacon and a cup of OJ, this all totals about 5 points. Then, for breakfast I'll have: 
3 point- yogurt
1 point- 4 olives
1 point- olive oil dressing
1 point- slice of cheese OR turkey
0 point- Lettuce
0 point- apple
Total: 6 points
Then dinner wasn't too great this week meaning there was a lot of free eating (like eating a Quesadilla one night coz I didn't want to cook) but still came in under points. I'm allotted like 31 points. Anyway. I think the common denominator is exercise. I've literally lost what I have lost so far just from eating so if I incorporate exercise I'm bound to be set up for success. Enter: BICYCLE! My husband and I are now proud owners of Specialized brand bikes. I will blog about the bike experience in another post but again, steping out of my comfort zone. We got the baby trailer and everything. I'm going to set my goal as getting out at least once a day to ride even if just for 5 minutes. Then i a few weeks I'll push to do long like 10 minutes, etc. Let's see what happens! Who is with me?!

Wednesday, September 25, 2013

OOTD Shirt Dress

Here is another killer item I got from LB a few weeks ago. I initially loved this dress. Everything about it! It looked great on me and the length was perfect and it was just perfect in every spot. I only have one gripe about it: the fabric. It's got this like sheeny material that has no give to it so sometimes when I sit down or move my arms I feel like I could Hulk out and rip the material right then and there so I feel like I have to "be careful" with my movements. Other than that I still like it! I had originally wanted to wear a belt with this and just tuck the strings that originally came on this under the belt but I didn't have time to fuss this morning but again it's another dark outfit. I aim to purchase some brightly colored leggings soon so I can break up these darker outfits with some color. I LOVE the leggings that I am wearing though. They are grey and studded on the sides (can't see coz my mom was all like "how the hell do you take this picture?!" when I asked her and she was struggling and didn't get the side shot of me) and just super comfortable and adorable I think. I feel like a rocker in this dress, like with the Old Navy stripped dress. I wore dark makeup and glitter (another new love)  so it's very smokey/nightish I think. Still love it though.  I think I'll keep the dress, I can't give it up because the fabric. I'd love to wear it legging-less but again, the fabric super rides up and I'd basically be sitting on a bare ass when I sat down so the leggings are sort of necessary!

I wore with the necklace my husband gave me for Valentines day. It's a "devil" ruby. Now we know what he thinks of me!
And my makeup:

Whipple, OUT!

Monday, September 23, 2013


I recently dropped some *coughmoneycough* at the Pound store (Lane Bryant aka LB aka the pound store) and I can't even begin to tell you how damn excited I was that day! Usually, at my pre-weight, I would really look forward to going clothes shopping but would leave any store miserable and wanting to die because it was just so horrible. Nothing would fit, I looked like crap, I hated my life, blah blah blah. A few store visits ago I got great news... I was now in a size 18/20 as opposed to my usual heavy side of 22/24!!!! Oh happy day!!!! It wasn't even like I was trying to stuff myself into this size I had just tried on something in a 22/24 and thought "this would be cute IF it were a size smaller" and then had to stop myself and "WHAT?!" yeah, a size smaller, so smaller I went.

Anywhoo, at my latest haul at LB I got a hoard of stuff, a lot of it fall items, that I just love! I'd try something on and love it, I'd try something else on and love it. This happened at my most recent visit to Old Navy that I posted about. I'm seriously becoming the clothes horse I've always wanted to be. In this trip I got this peplum top. I had seen it online and thought that I wanted to try it but that it would make me look like a whale and would probably be quite unflattering. Tried it on. Loved it. Got it home. Still loved it (I have a bad habit of buying stuff and then trying it on again at home and hating it. There were some items I got this trip to LB that will be going back as well). Without further ado, my first peplum top. Paired with? You guessed it! My black pencil skirt (love that thing!) also from Lane Bryant from the beginning of the year.

I think it looks pretty professional but not too stuffy. I work in a business casual office and I look better than most of the Agents that work there.

On another note, I got back to my Weight Watcher tracking last week and when I weighed in on Saturday I had lost an even 4 lbs so that's exciting. Trying not to get too excited because we all know how this will turn out, right? :) Positive thoughts everyone. 

Friday, September 20, 2013

OOTD Old Navy Dress

Here is a look from earlier this week. Like I mentioned in my last post since I've lost about 60 lbs I actually fit into a size 18/20. I used to be on the almost-26 side of 24 so this is so fabulous I can't even being to tell you. I'm actually finding my credit card hard to pay off this month (sorry husband) because I have spent about $500 in clothes because I tried items on and loved them. It fit so I bought it and the next item fit and looked great so I bought it and so on and so on. I went into Old Navy the other day to scour the clearance racks for my son and I decided to see what sizes they had in the ladies department and to my sadness they still only had up to a XXL. I said to myself, "what the hell? try it on". I felt a ting of sadness because I'm used to needing a XXXL but I grabbed a dress anyway and went into the dressing room. I didn't unzip the back but as I started to pull the dress over my head again thought "This is pointless. It's not going to fit!" but I continued on anyway and guess what? It fit like a fucking glove and I looked in the mirror and thought "holy shit I love this dress and I look killer in it!" I really don't think I've ever looked in a fitting room mirror and thought that to myself. Then I went back and grabbed some more items and hit the dressing room again and this time... they still fit! And looked great!!!! I was with my husband and his kids so I didn't want to spend all day in there, even though I really could of, so I got the original pink dress I tried on and then found the same style dress but in a black and white stripe that I couldn't say no to so I got it too.

It nips in perfectly at the waist and flares out in the skirt. It has a thick strapped top but I still paired it with a cardigan because I was attending an owners meeting at work and felt more appropriate in the cardi. I wore my ankle booties and a black studded belt I had recently got from Lane Bryant, also I wore my Lolita necklace (which you can't see), well, my fake Lolita necklace. I'm sort of a cheap ass when it comes to most items like the original Lolita necklace that cost $30 pre-shipping, so I found one on eBay for literally $5 & FREE shipping! What have I determined from these photos? My mother is a horrible photographer and I still love this dress. In retrospect the next time I wear this dress I will switch the belt with a pinkish/coraly one I also got from LB just to give it some color, will prob. also wear some flats instead of the booties and a brighter colored necklace just to give it more color. I didn't even realize it was all black! Leave it to the fat girl to wear all black! :)

Dress: Old Navy. Belt: Lane Bryant

Cardigan: WalMart ( I know, right) I added a different snap closure.

Booties: The Cow Barn... er... I mean the Dress Barn.

And here is what the Lolita Necklace looks like:
All in all I love this outfit. It's a little punk rocker the way I accessorized but I can make it cutesy too. I'm excited to see what else I can do with this :D

Tuesday, September 17, 2013


Ok, I know I know. I think the average American blogger starts strong and then halfway through the year poops out and blog's like once every few months. I am making it a point to NOT be the average American blogger. Even though at this point I probably have about -2 readers I am going to turn this blog around and make it great! I want to be one of those blogs that people seek out and follow on Bloglovin and the person who is overwhelmed by the positive comments I get so I'm doing a re-direct! This is somewhat of an inside work joke with someone who no longer ever works at my company but basically, turning the attention to something else! I started this blog to follow my journey through weightloss, which I still plan to document, but I also want to focus on other daily stuff. I believe I posted about this one of the last two times I blogged, it was about that black pencil skirt that I love so much. So, this is me starting this.. again. But sticking to my guns!

I need to get back on my weight loss wagon and I want to be somewhat of a fashionable lady, so, let's start here...

Being super hugely over weight I dreaded going into stores to shop for clothes. Of course nothing fit, I hated my life and I would grab the first thing (if there WAS anything) that semi fit and check out OR I would not get anything and walk out to the car feeling like a miserable failure in life. It's terrible to feel that way. I was so depressed because my weight was limiting me from wearing cute clothes or any clothes for that matter. This is actually going to be in another post I'm planning but I can't be too public about it yet (though since I have no readers this is not really public!) but someday I shall unveil my secret plans. Until then, I vow to blog at least once a week to go over not only my weight loss progress but any other random crap that I want to go over! :)  I hope that will keep me on my path to reach my goal of losing 60 lbs by my 30th birthday *shudder* next September 7th. I want to continue to feel the way I've been feeling in clothing so if there is anyone out there I'd love to hear from you in the comments! Wish me luck! Here we gooooooooo.....

Friday, August 23, 2013

First ever OOTD post!

It's Friday, woohoo, and It's not even 9 am yet, still a long day to go. :( I am feeling more and more confidant each day. I am not tracking my weight watcher points but I am not stuffing my face either. I am curious to see what happens tomorrow for weigh in. I had made a goal a few months ago that the next 10 lbs I lost I'd have one of my jacket blazers altered and I have yet to hit that 259 mark. That is depressing BUT I told myself last week that if I lost any weight this week I'd take that damn jacket in and go on with it. I miss wearing it and hell I should be happy I'm needing to have it altered at all. It's extremely wayyyy too huge. Like two sizes too huge, Yay for me!

I felt very confident and sexy in the outfit below and knew I wanted to post it online! I wore this Wednesday and I felt great. I got several compliments on how great I looked so here is my first ever Outfit Of The Day post:

I made my mom snap this picture as I was picking my son up at her house after work and the wind was blustery so I look a tad silly in the first photo but I still think I look great. "Very Fashionable" as one gal said! The top is my first ever thrifted piece, the skirt and flats are Lane Bryant and the necklace was a gift from an agent at work but she purchased it from Cookie Lee two Christmases' ago. I must say, I heart the pencil skirts. Whoda thunk? The last photo I posted was me in the pencil skirt at the work function. I love them.

I've been getting bolder while around my husband as far as being naked and weirded out with him looking at me. I know, how silly does it sound that I don't want him to look at me naked. I can't help it. I never thought being fat was something great I'm not saying it is but being comfortable in your skin IS, regardless of size) so I never thought anyone else would find me attractive but I'm slowly learning that there are folks out there that find the curvy girl MORE attractive and MORE beautiful than those ideals that have been forced on me for my entire life (fat is ugly. fat is repulsive. fat is gross. no one wants a fat woman. skinny skinny skinny!). I'm starting small, not wearing pj pants, just undies at night! :) I know, shocking!!!!

Anywhoo, that's all I've got for now. Thanks anyone who may be following! :D

Sunday, August 18, 2013

Working Title

Lost 1.9 lbs this week still putting me at 2 lbs above my lowest weight yet. Still on the track to doing what I want to do. I bought two pencil skirts a few months ago and have worn them off and on. I must admit I'm not (I don't think) I'm as fat as I think I look in it! I had to go to a work party last week and I was snapped in photos a few times and amazingly enough I didn't want to barf when I saw the photos. :) I'm noticing more and more that when I see myself I'm not as terribly fat as I feel, fat as I used to be.

I also notice that I am on a journey of life changes and not a diet. I've been saying that for years but I'm really starting to see it now. I see that when people ask me what I want to drink I have a split second that a Coke sounds great but I automatically say water. Something as little as ordering a lettuce wrapped  sandwich as opposed to a bread wrapped one may sound silly to some folks but to me it's a pretty big deal and it's great that I am able to see it and know that I want to continue to work towards things like that.

Whelp, that's my riff for the week. Here's a photo of myself in one of the pencil skirts. I know I'm making a dumb face but that's not the point! :)

Though now that I'm looking at it and me standing next to my co-worker and I'm literally double her size is kind of disheartening but just goes to show I have work to go and will continue to work on it. 

Sunday, August 11, 2013

Yea, Yea, still here!

Well, Still here, still struggling in the lower 260's. UGH! It's a downer, seriously. Though, I've recently stumbled upon Fat Acceptance. What IS fat acceptance you wonder? It's a "movement" where folks are happy with their size and do what they want and refuse to be shamed because of their size. They are happy. HAPPY! It has literally never occurred to me that I can be happy, regardless of my current size! I am in the middle on the fat acceptance. Part of me thinks "wow, how totally awesome for these people. They are living their lives without caring what other people are thinking about them and they seem to be happy, good for them. I'd never be able to wear that but woo for her/him! Why can't I just be happy to be alive? To have a beautiful son? To have a husband who loves me and married me at a much bigger size than I am now?" The other part of me is thinking "Keep on your goal! You CAN loose the weight and be a "normal" size then you won't be so self conscious about yourself all the time". I just don't know. I know the old saying goes "No one is ever 100% happy with their body". Is it true? I think it is. The super model who gets paid BILLIONS of dollars probably hates the mole she has on her back and nit picks at all the photos she sees of herself, or hates her nose (even though she IS paid billions of dollars just to look pretty), the men folks, whilst they mostly seem to not care, catch them selfs staring in the mirror at what they think is hideous staring back at them... is anyone ever 100% happy with them selves? I really don't think humans are. There will always be SOMETHING to hate. Why not just say "Fuck it" and live for what matters?

I am trying to focus on how to just take better care of myself, and that is really what this journey started out being. I am not going to say "Yay, fat acceptance eat whatever I want because I'm happy" I'm not accepting my fat but I'm going to learn to live with it while I'm transitioning. I DO want to lose weight for my long term health and fun with my son, I DO want to lose weight so maybe I won't rush to get undressed/dressed so my husband won't see me naked, I DO want to lose weight because I want to sit on a chair/hammock/bench/ANYTHING and not shy away because I think it won't hold up to my weight, I DO want to lose weight because I want to go parasailing with my husband at some point and Zip line through a far away forest but most of all I DO want to get to a healthy weight to be able to say I did it, on my own with support from friends and family and now I am comfortable with my weight.

What I want to focus on is being me. Living life. Stop worrying over every darn little calorie or WW point that goes into my mouth. Will I be able to achieve this? Meh, we'll see. I want to focus on living more and not holding myself down because I'm fat.

BTW, I do find the Fat Acceptance blogs more entertaining to read. Everyone loves cats, vintage/kitschy things and seems to be way into "Fatshion". I love it. They are more positive than the losing weight ones. They talk about LIFE and not weight. Though this dumb little blog of my is my journey through the weight losing life and IS about weight loss I'd like to transition more into life goings on. Though no one reads this I feel it's more of a diary space for me so I'll be doing what I want and posting what I want :D  There seem to be a lot of Capital words above. Hah. Here is a photo of a dress (I call it a shirt dress, what is it really? A tunic?) I bought Years ago and was never really comfortable wearing it. Too short and puffed out in the middle with no shape to it. A few months ago, after my initial large weight loss I wore it. I paired it with leggings and got smart and put a belt on. I lovvvve this thing. I used to always wear it to work with a cardigan because A. I loathe my arms and their extreme flabbyness and 2. because I thought the "sleeves" were inappropriate for work but after seeing my co-worker wear similar, smaller sleeves I said screw it, it's way too damn hot in the desert sun to wear a cardigan today, and I didn't. This tunic/dress/long shirt embowered me and I felt beautiful. It's hard to see since I took the photo in a dumb bathroom and I did a black belt but it's adorable! :)

Until another day... Whipple, signing of.

Saturday, June 22, 2013


SSDD stands for Same Shit Different Day! My body just hates me. I gained a pound this week, depressing since this always happens (seriously, read my past blogs), I do really great and I'm super motivated and then the next week I gain and have no idea why. BUT, there is still good to be had. I finally broke down and got my ring resized! It was, I thought, a 9 before and it was so loose if I shook my hand it would near fall off (it would fall off if I didn't stop shaking!) and I went down to a 8! The guy said it was almost a 9.5 so that's like a size and half! Also, I calculated my BMI and I'm a whole 10 points down from where I first started. I also had my blood pressure randomly checked at my eye appointment the other day (yeah, don't ask me) and it was absolutely normal where it used to be really high! It was actually even better than my mom's normally is and she's skinny. Lastly, my clothes, namely my pants, are literally falling off me. I had to wear a belt the other day because I knew I'd get sick of having to pull my shorts up and one of my two belts was actually unusable because I ran out of smaller holes, I told my husband he needed to drill more for me, that's a first. I was at the Tuachan Saturday Market today and was running (yes running) back to our spot and had to hold my shorts with one hand while running because they were going to fall off me! It's a great feeling. So even though I gained one dumb pound I'm feel great about myself. I'm noticing other things too like my thighs aren't as big  and I basically have no hips left (I used to pretty much be able to slide my hand between my hip roll {I know this is sick, I'm sorry} and there is no roll left to do that!

Going to continue to stay motivated, hoping that in 2 weeks (when my husband gets his job back in town and is able to big up our son after work) we can join the gym and start exercising! I'll keep on keeping on!

Monday, June 17, 2013

I am Inspiration!

So it's only Monday and I must say how great I feel! I'm actually letting it sink in that I've lost 70 lbs. That is amazing. To me though it's not THAT amazing, I'm still fat and it's hard for me to see how far I've come. I was helping a friend out today with things she could eat for breakfast that would keep he full and it as great knowing (hoping) that I helped her. I had a short moment about a year ago where I wanted to be a nutritionist but I think I want to just help people know they can get through the weight barriers.

The next step in life is getting to the gym. I've tried doing workouts at home and it just doesn't work. There are a million other things that need to be done before the dreaded exercise. My husband and I checked out the only gym in town, Anytime Fitness, and it, like all gyms, is pretty expensive (about $60 for both of us to go a month). In retrospect though we budget $100 for eating out every month if we whittle that down we can easily afford to do this healthy thing AND cut out the biggest non-healthy thing in our lives right now. My mini goal for the rest of June is to not eat out since I'm pretty sure we've already spent well over $40 on that :| Then for the month of July see if we are able to get y on $40 for eating out. Oy Vey. I love a challenge!

Saturday, June 15, 2013

Re-Focused and back on track!

My last post last week was about me getting back on track and setting my goals, which in retrospect aren't really that great but I'm trying. I tracked my food all week (what you're supposed to do with weight watchers) and thought of the goals when I wanted to eat terribly. Here we are, a week later and the results? Lost 2.8 lbs putting me at an even 261! Lowest I've been since I can't remember when. May I just say it's a huge step for me in actually typing my weight here. Seriously. It's a disgusting number but I'm working on changing it for good!

Though I worked hard to stay focused I Still "slipped up" twice that I can think of. My husband and I bought sweets (he a sugar cookie, me a brownie) from The Sugar Cookie in St. George one lunch day and then yesterday even though I'd packed a lunch (naughty us) we went and shared a pastrami sandwich which if you think about it isn't terrible, it had sautéed mushrooms, bell peppers and onions on it. Worst part was the cheese and the hoagie roll it came on and I probably had a handful of fries BUT I still added everything t my points and last night was only over by 1 point (do you know how Weight Watchers works? All food is given a point value and depending on your weight and other factors you are given a daily point allowance), so not too terribly bad.

We bought a pool last weekend and though I only got once chance at "working out" I am excited to use it as such in the future. One of my pals 1is also trying to re-focus her efforts into Weight Watchers and I told her I was going to lose 2 lbs this week so I feel quit1e proud that I made it!  1If I lose1 another 2 next week I'll be able to get my mini goal reward of altering my jacket! Can't wait.

Until next week.......

Monday, June 10, 2013

Call me Mrs. Duncan!

Wasn't it the Duncan yo yo's? Seriously folks, this is what I do, yo yo! I over come a plateau and I struggle with and then when I get down about 10 lbs I struggle again and I maintain my weight for a few months and then I get the dedication and will power to get down another, so here I am, once again, at a plateau. I haven't blogged in a while and I feel that may be contributing to my downfall. Writing to no one actually makes me want to do better!

I lost the work weight loss challenge but I was in second place for the most weight lost and I'm super pissed because I should of been in first place and blowing by everyone. I tried to not be down about it and I'm really not, the only thing that peeves me is I didn't have the will power and gumption to actually want to win the money, I just didn't even try! I hate that. What's wrong with me? I have a plan though. I want to lose 10 lbs for my son, 15 lbs for my husband and 10 lbs for myself. That will put me at a good spot where I will re-evaluate my goals and how to achieve them. 2 pounds at a time I know I will someday make myself be the image I have in my head. I don't want sickly thin, I want healthy.

A lot of my pals will see me and say how great I look but when I look in the mirror all I see is some huge beast. I will look back at old photos and I can see a minimal change but nothing to write home about. I want to see a drastic change, I want to be happy with me. I don't want to have days where I hate myself and want to stay at home in bed because I am just unhappy with the way I look. Today, I must be re-motivated. I still haven't hit that 10 lb loss where I would alter one of my jackets so I'm making a blog promise to blog every Saturday of the events of the week and get to 259 (holy crap I just told you my weight for the first time, big mile stone here) so I can get my jacket altered, this is my first hurdle of the month. I know I can do this. Let's go!

Sunday, April 14, 2013

Shaking things up with a new milestone!

Another few weeks have past, isn't it funny how we all say we are going to blog religiously and then as time goes on we get less and less gung ho about it! I full well mean to but then I hear the toddler crying, awake from his slumber and it has to be put off for a while.

The last time I blogged I was going to start the Body by Vi Challenge and was excited to see the results. And what were they you ask? SUCKY! I actually gained a lb and it just wasn't good. The shakes were not for me. I did it for two weeks and saw little to no results. I continued to drink the shakes just for breakfast and then did my normal Weight Watcher routine and the first week of that I lost a lb. So that was good. It seems whenever I try to to new things to concur my weight loss I have a set back and when I get back on track with Weight Watchers things go well.

At my work my broker is always saying how she is going to weigh in and so one day I asked her how it was going and after a few minutes of chatter between the two of us she said we should start a weight loss challenge at work and I thought that was a great idea so we formulated a plan and have officially gotten past one week! We are going until the end of May (the 31st) and there will be two chances to win: Whomever lost the most weight and whomever lost the most Percentage of their weight. It was $10 to buy in and then you set a goal for the week. If you do not meet your goal you have to pay $1 for every lb you were shy and then a $1 for each pound you gain. So far I am in second to last place (last place gained .2), I lost 3.4lbs! That is amazing for me and I was so happy with it! Everyone else who is doing this has not been dieting for a year and a half and so I know some of them will taper off so I'm sticking with slow and steady wins the race.

My new co-worker used to be the nutritional coach for a local organic store and she said if I wanted to win I should try the Paleo Diet. So, basically no breads, grains or sugars (obvi no processed stuff either) so I did it and that was the result. I'm going to do it this upcoming week as well and see how the results are, last week I was stricken with a stomach bug where I was pooping like every 5 minutes until Wednesday so I'm curious if my loss was from that or all the fruit and veg I ate? We'll see! Once again, I'm excited to see what happens. FOr work our weigh in's are Friday Mornings and I normally weigh in on Saturday so I am still weighing in on Saturday and my "official" loss for the week was 4.6 lbs!!!!! AMAZING and guess what? That put me at an official 70 lost since the second week in January 2012! WOOHOO!!! It's wonderful how great I feel about that. I feel "sexier" and I went clothes shopping and picked up clothes in a 2x (I used to be a tight 3x) and 20 and they fit! It put a smile to my face that I left the dressing room happy!

Well, that's where I'm at. I'm going to continue to do the Paleo dist and see what happens Friday and Saturday and hopefully it will be a few more pounds lost to my goal. At the end of this work challenge I'm going to post more photos as well and compare the last round I took! :)

Saturday, March 16, 2013

Still Going

I haven't blogged in the past two weeks things have been hectic. I'm only able to now because it's frigen 6 in the morning on Saturday and I was wide awake at 5:30, no going back to sleep so I figured I'd get up and get this written!

Three weeks ago I left my job of 3 years to pursue another job so my last week at my old job everyone wanted to take me to lunch, the last day they bought MASSIVE amounts of pizza and cake so my husband and I ate pizza and cake for the next few days. Then, last week my son brought home a bug from daycare on a Thursday and he felt so icky we had to have grandma watch him Friday until 12 and then I left work early to be with him.... a day later and we ALL GOT SICK! My husband and I, on Sunday, were trading who was watching the baby while the other was in the bathroom. :| It was not pretty.

My friend sent me a Body by VI kit because she's so sweet so I have been on that the past 3 weeks. I'll admit, I'm not a fan. It's either that or the craziness the past few weeks but I'm not losing like I did on Weight Watchers. I've only lost about 2 lbs in the past 3 weeks (the week I left my job I gained I think about 1 lb from a that crap eating) so slowly but surly I'm at least still losing!

As of today I'm at the lowest I can EVER remember being and it's not even that low :| I will continue on with the Body by Vi until the shake mix is gone, work my butt off and see what the end results are. A childhood friend of mine recently got the gastric bypass surgery. I've, many a time, thought about getting this. About 10 years ago I asked my doctor and she said she thought I'd be an excellent candidate and referred me to the surgeon who does it and he gave me a packet to read. My mom had said something about it and stubborn me got mad and threw the packet away and never looked back. I'll be honest, when people tell me they got some sort of weight loss surgery I always think "I bet they didn't try very hard to loose weight" and I really have no idea about them but me, I know I'm trying. It's been over a year since I started this journey and things are slowing down. Somedays I'm hopeful that I'll get to my goal in the next two years and other days I'm so depressed about it. What are your thoughts on a weight loss surgery? My biggest fear with that is literally learning how to eat/live again all over. I don't mind the healthy eating because I do that now so I guess I'd learn to live with the changes. At this point, I want to be healthy for my son and my husband. I want to live a nice long life so I can see my son do all the things I got to do and to watch him grow.

Anywhoo, that's the updates kids. I hope this finds everyone in good spirits and great health! :)

Sunday, February 24, 2013

First real photos of me now!

Ok, so I've totally put these off because I HATE having photos taken of me because I have this image in my head of a beached whale. I had my mom take these and as she was taking them I was gritting my teeth in my head. After I saw them I was actually pleasantly surprised. I'm not as huge as I think I am! I did not suck in my gut at all (which is actually like second nature to me these days) because I want these to be a true testament of the challenge I am going to do. I used to have a considerable mid section that I hated but you can actually barely see it! I think the biggest part of me I hate (beside my huge tummy) are my arms. UGH! SO much loose skin and flab it's gross but, again, wanted it to all hang out for these photos.  My great friend Juli sent me a great kit from Body by Vi and I am quite excited to start this tomorrow, Monday, so I knew I had to get these pics taken so I can see the results, if any, in 90 days! ok here it goes....

Saturday, February 23, 2013

Still going strong

Well, if anyone read last weeks post I gained almost 4 lbs. Very sad but I had promised to continue to do well, even though I followed my Weight Watchers program to a T I had still gained those pounds. Of COURSE I was sad and depressed about it but I knew I could not fall into the same old rut so I forged on. Both my husband and I got new jobs and his started this week. His new schedule is 8-6 so it's quite an adjustment for us plus since I am no longer taking the liquid protein I don't have to stay up 3 hours after I last ate so we have been going to be pretty early which means this whole week I did not use my elliptical. Regardless.... I still lost 3.2 lbs this week! YAY! So I lost last weeks weight plus .2! I'm officially now, again, at my lowest weight. :)

There was also some great things that happened this week too! First of all, at my current job one of the agents just got back from a year long mission and when I saw him back at work he said I looked to great and had lost so much weight. Of course the last time I saw him I was at my heaviest and still pregnant but it still feels great when someone you haven't seen in a long time says how great you look!

Lastly, I had bought two pencil skirts last week when I was shopping and I have never worn a pencil skirt before because they are not flattering on my body type. When I tried them on I didn't hate it, so I got two different kinds. Well, I wore one on Friday and even though I was self conscious I felt great. I asked my husband if I looked stupid and normally when faced with this question he'd say no dear you look fine (he's a smart guy haha) but he actually said "No. I think you look quite sexy." so that was great. He never gives me compliments on how I look usually because he just isn't a verbal kind of guy, so it was great that he finally said something other than you look great or you look cute.

Anywhoo, still on my way. Long and slow but I'll get there. I am more motivated this week because I'm still 7 lbs away from losing a total of 10 more lbs so I can get my jacket altered (that was my goal a few weeks ago and the altering of my jacket was my reward).

I have one more week left at Coldwell and then I'm on to my new adventure at a new job. I hope I am as prosperous there as I was at Coldwell. last week I won a challenge for Rockeresque so that was nice to know my hard work as part of their street team was paying off. I ordered a large event kit from them so here in the next few weeks I'll have a lot of samples if any of you ladies are interested in trying some awesome makeup before buying full size I'll let you know when I get it.

Ok ya'll I'll See you next week!

Saturday, February 16, 2013

A set back is not always a set back

Well Kids, if anyone is following you'll know that earlier in the week I posted a post on how great I was doing and how wonderful life is etc and I couldn't wait for Saturday's weigh day right? WRONG! Apparently the magical fat fairy deposited 3.4 lbs into my bank last night? WHAT?! I know, I'm just as stunned as you are and I have no explination. When I gain I usually think back to what I ate this week but since I keep a log I'm able to look at everything and everything was tracked and accounted for?! I'm at a loss for words. One pound would of been ok 2 would of been devastating so I can't explain how I feel about almost 4 pounds. I must admit this seems to be a pattern for me though. I will be doing really well and then I will slip just a little (I DID NOT slip at all this week though!) and then I will gain a few pounds and be lackadaisical  about tracking and eating properly and then I'm back to the same rut I was in a few months ago and so on and so on but THIS time I'm not going to do that! I'm going to work even harder and making my dreams become a reality.

The title is very fitting for today because even though I had this set back great things happened this week in the weight challenge. I was able to resist going out as a "celebration" and did not use food to celebrate. This is one very large mark in the accomplishments field. Then, yesterday, I got the idea to go shopping because I knew there would be a sale for after V-Day, and there was, and I grabbed several different sizes while trying things on: Size 24 pant was my normal size, then most recently I fit into a 20, it was snug but I still wore it. Lately It's been a VERY comfortable 20 and all my 24's are extremely baggy and loose and blah THEN yesterday while grabbing a haul before going to the dressing room I found a SUPER cute pair of slacks that they only had an 18 or 26, obvi. the 26 was way too big and the 18 was too small but for fun I grabbed the 18 anyway to just see what would happen. I put my feet in and started to pull them up and thought oh yeah this is never going to happen and almost stopped but I didn't, I kept going and low in behold I was actually able to button, zip up and breathe in the pants! Yes, they were tight (especially in the thigh area) but by golly I actually fit into them! I was so happy. Another thing that happened I found several shirts in a size 20 or 22 or even 18/20 that fit perfectly and got them. Bye Bye size 24/3x! So, even though  gained tat ungodly amount and it's but me further away from my goal I have recouped for it in other weighs (pun intended), Inches!

Speaking of, last night was my last dose of No Diet and I'm curious to see what happens (if anything) in the upcoming weeks. The total inches I lost from calf, thigh, tummy and waist was 7.75!!! Hooray! That's amazing, in just over a month and a half. Pretty cool, I will not be buying more but I'm glad it gave me a kick start I needed.

So, again, even though there wasn't weight loss this week I still have several other accomplishments, Ohh, now that I think about it my monthly Exclamation is coming up because I just felt I have a pimple (a tell tale sign that her grace will be joining me for breakfast, lunch and dinner for a week) so maybe that's why the gain?!) IN ANY EVENT, I promise anyone who is reading that I will stay on course and continue to eat healthy and track my points and get in the exercise (which is the part I struggle with the most and need to set a goal soon) so I can loose these 3.4 lbs next week and be able to report back with exceptional news!

Happy losing my friends.

Thursday, February 14, 2013

It's been an amazing Week! Can't wait for Saturday!

Hello Everyone (anyone!). Wow, it's just been a great week thus far and it's on Thursday! Happy Valentines Day btw.

First off I scored a new job! I'll now be an Engineering Assistant for Century Link and it's totally exciting! I got this call on Tuesday and today is when I make the big announcement to the staff girls at work. I did tell two of the 6 owners here and that was A LOT tougher than I thought! I'm actually way more sad about it than I thought I would be. They basically begged me to stay, something I've never seen them do with anyone else who has left the company in the 3 years I've been here. There are many things I will miss but to move forward in life I feel I must make this change. I am at the limit as to what I can be at Coldwell and Century Link has no ceiling as to what I can become so I'm excited to start this new chapter in my life. Coldwell has really been great but over the last year attitudes and respect have declined and there just isn't much anyone can do about that.

On Tuesday when I got that call my mom text me and said "Congratulations! Let's go out to eat to celebrate!" For those of you who don't know, she owns a tanning salon in town about 5 minutes from where I work so I eat lunch over there. Anyway, as much as I wanted to say YES YES YES I actually declined and said "I can't use food as a reward". This is huge folks, HUGE for me. Food addicts love to use food as a reward and this is a major step. I can't say this will happen all the time but the fact that I was able to man up and realize what I need to fix is a big step in the right direction.

Thirdly, Tax Season! I dread tax season lately because I own my own small business so I usually have to pay. Plus my husband was an "Independent Contractor" for most of this year so he got a 1099 i.e. we'll get screwed. Well, at the end of each month when I do the budget and calculate our spending etc I pull 25% of what we each made and put it into a "tax account" (a savings account), welllll, our CPA got back to me yesterday and we really only have to pay about 1/4 of what is in the account! So yay, Happy tax day!!!Even though we are having to pay we will still have a large sum left over that we can buy a few necessities and then put the rest into savings.

And lastly, I've ordered an Event Kit from Rockeresque! I am going to get a booth for the Hurricane Peach Days (In September) and be able to offer some of their great products to the gals of H-Town! In the mean time I'll probably also hit up my pals and see if they are interested. This will be a great way for gals to inexpensively see what colors they want and then when they decide they will (still inexpensively) get on the website and place an order. I'm pretty excited about this. If you aren't friends with me on Facebook I usually share Rockeresque's posts and then post some of my own looks of the day. Here is today's V-Day look. My signature purple look :)

Ok anyone still reading. Two more days until weigh day and I feel confidant that I'll see a loss! See you on Saturday!

Saturday, February 9, 2013

A new benchmark!

Todays the day! I'm officially down 65.5 pounds! Woohoo! This is a great feeling. I recently read in my WW magazine that you should think back to where you were last year and reflect on that. Last year of course I started WW the second week in January so I was at my heaviest post baby and all that. Here I am a year later and down 65 pounds, I FEEL wonderful and I know it will only get better, my child is growing into an amazing person and I can't wait to see the rest of these changes throughout life, my husband, I know, will always be here for me to give me support even when I'm in grumpy moods and am generally having a bad day. I am so excited to see what the future holds for me as I continue to lose weight.

When you're an over weight person you are limited in the fun and adventurous things you can do. It started off as a joke but I think I am going to plan a Disney Cruise for Cougar (and us) when he turns 5 and I'd LOVE love love to be able to go parasailing with my husband and to Zip Line through the jungle! Those are two items on my unofficial bucket list and I can't wait to do them, how fun would that be?!

Oh, by the way I lost 1.4 pounds this week, enough to have me hit that large milestone. So, even with all the stress and the candy snacking here and there it as been a great past week. This week is a new week and my mini goal is 1.5 lbs lost. Only a handful more to go until I can get that jacket altered.

I'll see you all (you none) next week for another EXCITING (yawn for you) weigh day.

Friday, February 8, 2013

A Better Day!

After last nights whine fest I am feeling much better today! I took a vacation day off work, I got my face on using Rockeresque's Amazing Colors (seen below) and my husband is home with me. Why is he home? Well, he basically got laid off, but that's ok. We're together and we've got amazing things going to happen for us! I'm not worried... yet! :)

I really feel a new surge of motivation after last night. I know I need to keep working hard to change my habits for the better and to keep plugging away so that someday someone WILL ask me to model something (I'm not talking about the yearn to be a runway model, I just want to do something fun where anyone says "Hey you're beautiful and I like your style may I shoot some photographs of you to use in my portfolio?!" That's all, haha).  Again, I'm at home and I don't even feel the need/want to go stuff my face with anything, that's a great accomplishment in itself.

I've read where people have life motto's. I have several but the one that is applicable to my weight loss journey is "Remember Why You're Doing This". That really gets me going! And just why? When I want to eat something that I know I shouldn't I remember the motto and remember my goals and how my goals make me feel as opposed to how eating that naughty thing makes me feel. It may sound funny but it really seriously works. I recommend everyone getting their own motto, one that makes THEM remember why they are doing it! While my husband was at his job today basically clearing his stuff out I got my wedding dress (stuffed in a space bag in our closet) out and wanted to hang it up in our spare bedroom. I was always in love with my wedding dress and tried to sell it but when no one bought it I was secretly happy because I love it (even though I'll never need it again, ugh, material attachments will be the death of me!), but anyway I got curious to see how it fit, almost 4 years later. I don't recall my weight back then ( I should do some digging and find out) but I know it was heavier than I am now. I put it on and it's amazing how loose it felt! I do remember how TIGHT it was, I actually liked that back then because it felt like the dress was sucking everything in but it felt amazing today. I was very happy but then was sad because I just wanted to parade around in it the rest of the day. Here's a shot of me almost 4 years ago and the dress. Notice how big my face looks (hello double chin!):

 (look at my beautiful brides maids!!)

Just from the photos I've posted of my eyes lately you can see I'm a lot slimmer now than I was. *Sigh* I KNOW when I get to my goal weight I'm going to want a new wedding day! haha

Ok everyone, over and out for today. Tomorrow is weigh day and I can't WEIGHT to see the results :)