Sunday, February 24, 2013

First real photos of me now!

Ok, so I've totally put these off because I HATE having photos taken of me because I have this image in my head of a beached whale. I had my mom take these and as she was taking them I was gritting my teeth in my head. After I saw them I was actually pleasantly surprised. I'm not as huge as I think I am! I did not suck in my gut at all (which is actually like second nature to me these days) because I want these to be a true testament of the challenge I am going to do. I used to have a considerable mid section that I hated but you can actually barely see it! I think the biggest part of me I hate (beside my huge tummy) are my arms. UGH! SO much loose skin and flab it's gross but, again, wanted it to all hang out for these photos.  My great friend Juli sent me a great kit from Body by Vi and I am quite excited to start this tomorrow, Monday, so I knew I had to get these pics taken so I can see the results, if any, in 90 days! ok here it goes....

Saturday, February 23, 2013

Still going strong

Well, if anyone read last weeks post I gained almost 4 lbs. Very sad but I had promised to continue to do well, even though I followed my Weight Watchers program to a T I had still gained those pounds. Of COURSE I was sad and depressed about it but I knew I could not fall into the same old rut so I forged on. Both my husband and I got new jobs and his started this week. His new schedule is 8-6 so it's quite an adjustment for us plus since I am no longer taking the liquid protein I don't have to stay up 3 hours after I last ate so we have been going to be pretty early which means this whole week I did not use my elliptical. Regardless.... I still lost 3.2 lbs this week! YAY! So I lost last weeks weight plus .2! I'm officially now, again, at my lowest weight. :)

There was also some great things that happened this week too! First of all, at my current job one of the agents just got back from a year long mission and when I saw him back at work he said I looked to great and had lost so much weight. Of course the last time I saw him I was at my heaviest and still pregnant but it still feels great when someone you haven't seen in a long time says how great you look!

Lastly, I had bought two pencil skirts last week when I was shopping and I have never worn a pencil skirt before because they are not flattering on my body type. When I tried them on I didn't hate it, so I got two different kinds. Well, I wore one on Friday and even though I was self conscious I felt great. I asked my husband if I looked stupid and normally when faced with this question he'd say no dear you look fine (he's a smart guy haha) but he actually said "No. I think you look quite sexy." so that was great. He never gives me compliments on how I look usually because he just isn't a verbal kind of guy, so it was great that he finally said something other than you look great or you look cute.

Anywhoo, still on my way. Long and slow but I'll get there. I am more motivated this week because I'm still 7 lbs away from losing a total of 10 more lbs so I can get my jacket altered (that was my goal a few weeks ago and the altering of my jacket was my reward).

I have one more week left at Coldwell and then I'm on to my new adventure at a new job. I hope I am as prosperous there as I was at Coldwell. last week I won a challenge for Rockeresque so that was nice to know my hard work as part of their street team was paying off. I ordered a large event kit from them so here in the next few weeks I'll have a lot of samples if any of you ladies are interested in trying some awesome makeup before buying full size I'll let you know when I get it.

Ok ya'll I'll See you next week!

Saturday, February 16, 2013

A set back is not always a set back

Well Kids, if anyone is following you'll know that earlier in the week I posted a post on how great I was doing and how wonderful life is etc and I couldn't wait for Saturday's weigh day right? WRONG! Apparently the magical fat fairy deposited 3.4 lbs into my bank last night? WHAT?! I know, I'm just as stunned as you are and I have no explination. When I gain I usually think back to what I ate this week but since I keep a log I'm able to look at everything and everything was tracked and accounted for?! I'm at a loss for words. One pound would of been ok 2 would of been devastating so I can't explain how I feel about almost 4 pounds. I must admit this seems to be a pattern for me though. I will be doing really well and then I will slip just a little (I DID NOT slip at all this week though!) and then I will gain a few pounds and be lackadaisical  about tracking and eating properly and then I'm back to the same rut I was in a few months ago and so on and so on but THIS time I'm not going to do that! I'm going to work even harder and making my dreams become a reality.

The title is very fitting for today because even though I had this set back great things happened this week in the weight challenge. I was able to resist going out as a "celebration" and did not use food to celebrate. This is one very large mark in the accomplishments field. Then, yesterday, I got the idea to go shopping because I knew there would be a sale for after V-Day, and there was, and I grabbed several different sizes while trying things on: Size 24 pant was my normal size, then most recently I fit into a 20, it was snug but I still wore it. Lately It's been a VERY comfortable 20 and all my 24's are extremely baggy and loose and blah THEN yesterday while grabbing a haul before going to the dressing room I found a SUPER cute pair of slacks that they only had an 18 or 26, obvi. the 26 was way too big and the 18 was too small but for fun I grabbed the 18 anyway to just see what would happen. I put my feet in and started to pull them up and thought oh yeah this is never going to happen and almost stopped but I didn't, I kept going and low in behold I was actually able to button, zip up and breathe in the pants! Yes, they were tight (especially in the thigh area) but by golly I actually fit into them! I was so happy. Another thing that happened I found several shirts in a size 20 or 22 or even 18/20 that fit perfectly and got them. Bye Bye size 24/3x! So, even though  gained tat ungodly amount and it's but me further away from my goal I have recouped for it in other weighs (pun intended), Inches!

Speaking of, last night was my last dose of No Diet and I'm curious to see what happens (if anything) in the upcoming weeks. The total inches I lost from calf, thigh, tummy and waist was 7.75!!! Hooray! That's amazing, in just over a month and a half. Pretty cool, I will not be buying more but I'm glad it gave me a kick start I needed.

So, again, even though there wasn't weight loss this week I still have several other accomplishments, Ohh, now that I think about it my monthly Exclamation is coming up because I just felt I have a pimple (a tell tale sign that her grace will be joining me for breakfast, lunch and dinner for a week) so maybe that's why the gain?!) IN ANY EVENT, I promise anyone who is reading that I will stay on course and continue to eat healthy and track my points and get in the exercise (which is the part I struggle with the most and need to set a goal soon) so I can loose these 3.4 lbs next week and be able to report back with exceptional news!

Happy losing my friends.

Thursday, February 14, 2013

It's been an amazing Week! Can't wait for Saturday!

Hello Everyone (anyone!). Wow, it's just been a great week thus far and it's on Thursday! Happy Valentines Day btw.

First off I scored a new job! I'll now be an Engineering Assistant for Century Link and it's totally exciting! I got this call on Tuesday and today is when I make the big announcement to the staff girls at work. I did tell two of the 6 owners here and that was A LOT tougher than I thought! I'm actually way more sad about it than I thought I would be. They basically begged me to stay, something I've never seen them do with anyone else who has left the company in the 3 years I've been here. There are many things I will miss but to move forward in life I feel I must make this change. I am at the limit as to what I can be at Coldwell and Century Link has no ceiling as to what I can become so I'm excited to start this new chapter in my life. Coldwell has really been great but over the last year attitudes and respect have declined and there just isn't much anyone can do about that.

On Tuesday when I got that call my mom text me and said "Congratulations! Let's go out to eat to celebrate!" For those of you who don't know, she owns a tanning salon in town about 5 minutes from where I work so I eat lunch over there. Anyway, as much as I wanted to say YES YES YES I actually declined and said "I can't use food as a reward". This is huge folks, HUGE for me. Food addicts love to use food as a reward and this is a major step. I can't say this will happen all the time but the fact that I was able to man up and realize what I need to fix is a big step in the right direction.

Thirdly, Tax Season! I dread tax season lately because I own my own small business so I usually have to pay. Plus my husband was an "Independent Contractor" for most of this year so he got a 1099 i.e. we'll get screwed. Well, at the end of each month when I do the budget and calculate our spending etc I pull 25% of what we each made and put it into a "tax account" (a savings account), welllll, our CPA got back to me yesterday and we really only have to pay about 1/4 of what is in the account! So yay, Happy tax day!!!Even though we are having to pay we will still have a large sum left over that we can buy a few necessities and then put the rest into savings.

And lastly, I've ordered an Event Kit from Rockeresque! I am going to get a booth for the Hurricane Peach Days (In September) and be able to offer some of their great products to the gals of H-Town! In the mean time I'll probably also hit up my pals and see if they are interested. This will be a great way for gals to inexpensively see what colors they want and then when they decide they will (still inexpensively) get on the website and place an order. I'm pretty excited about this. If you aren't friends with me on Facebook I usually share Rockeresque's posts and then post some of my own looks of the day. Here is today's V-Day look. My signature purple look :)

Ok anyone still reading. Two more days until weigh day and I feel confidant that I'll see a loss! See you on Saturday!

Saturday, February 9, 2013

A new benchmark!

Todays the day! I'm officially down 65.5 pounds! Woohoo! This is a great feeling. I recently read in my WW magazine that you should think back to where you were last year and reflect on that. Last year of course I started WW the second week in January so I was at my heaviest post baby and all that. Here I am a year later and down 65 pounds, I FEEL wonderful and I know it will only get better, my child is growing into an amazing person and I can't wait to see the rest of these changes throughout life, my husband, I know, will always be here for me to give me support even when I'm in grumpy moods and am generally having a bad day. I am so excited to see what the future holds for me as I continue to lose weight.

When you're an over weight person you are limited in the fun and adventurous things you can do. It started off as a joke but I think I am going to plan a Disney Cruise for Cougar (and us) when he turns 5 and I'd LOVE love love to be able to go parasailing with my husband and to Zip Line through the jungle! Those are two items on my unofficial bucket list and I can't wait to do them, how fun would that be?!

Oh, by the way I lost 1.4 pounds this week, enough to have me hit that large milestone. So, even with all the stress and the candy snacking here and there it as been a great past week. This week is a new week and my mini goal is 1.5 lbs lost. Only a handful more to go until I can get that jacket altered.

I'll see you all (you none) next week for another EXCITING (yawn for you) weigh day.

Friday, February 8, 2013

A Better Day!

After last nights whine fest I am feeling much better today! I took a vacation day off work, I got my face on using Rockeresque's Amazing Colors (seen below) and my husband is home with me. Why is he home? Well, he basically got laid off, but that's ok. We're together and we've got amazing things going to happen for us! I'm not worried... yet! :)

I really feel a new surge of motivation after last night. I know I need to keep working hard to change my habits for the better and to keep plugging away so that someday someone WILL ask me to model something (I'm not talking about the yearn to be a runway model, I just want to do something fun where anyone says "Hey you're beautiful and I like your style may I shoot some photographs of you to use in my portfolio?!" That's all, haha).  Again, I'm at home and I don't even feel the need/want to go stuff my face with anything, that's a great accomplishment in itself.

I've read where people have life motto's. I have several but the one that is applicable to my weight loss journey is "Remember Why You're Doing This". That really gets me going! And just why? When I want to eat something that I know I shouldn't I remember the motto and remember my goals and how my goals make me feel as opposed to how eating that naughty thing makes me feel. It may sound funny but it really seriously works. I recommend everyone getting their own motto, one that makes THEM remember why they are doing it! While my husband was at his job today basically clearing his stuff out I got my wedding dress (stuffed in a space bag in our closet) out and wanted to hang it up in our spare bedroom. I was always in love with my wedding dress and tried to sell it but when no one bought it I was secretly happy because I love it (even though I'll never need it again, ugh, material attachments will be the death of me!), but anyway I got curious to see how it fit, almost 4 years later. I don't recall my weight back then ( I should do some digging and find out) but I know it was heavier than I am now. I put it on and it's amazing how loose it felt! I do remember how TIGHT it was, I actually liked that back then because it felt like the dress was sucking everything in but it felt amazing today. I was very happy but then was sad because I just wanted to parade around in it the rest of the day. Here's a shot of me almost 4 years ago and the dress. Notice how big my face looks (hello double chin!):

 (look at my beautiful brides maids!!)

Just from the photos I've posted of my eyes lately you can see I'm a lot slimmer now than I was. *Sigh* I KNOW when I get to my goal weight I'm going to want a new wedding day! haha

Ok everyone, over and out for today. Tomorrow is weigh day and I can't WEIGHT to see the results :) 

Thursday, February 7, 2013

Ah well, just another fat girl.

So, here I sit. It's Thursday night. It's 8:37 and two of my friends are upstairs in my home having a little photo shoot. My photographer friend texts me one day and asks if I could contact my friend that he met at our housewarming party so he could use her as a model, through gritted teeth I said ok. If you're a big girl and someone wants you to hook them up with your skinny pretty friend you know where I'm coming from. I get the two together and then he asks if they could shoot at my house! Wow, really? Let's twist that knife in a bit more shall we? So everyone is here, my skinny friend and everyone doting on her and yeah, I'm jealous. I've always wanted to be a model but know I don't have the looks or the body to ever be asked to be one so it's just one of those days where your dreams are dangled in front of your face and everyone laughs and points at you. Not having a pity party just bitching a bit. Bear with me.

I'm not expecting anyone to read these anymore because I'm not going to be publicly making a link on Facebook but if you're reading this my blog is just a story of my weight loss journey and my struggle in life with my weight in general. If you have't read any of my past posts I'm just a big girl, always have been, trying to get myself to a healthy weight. My ultimate goal is 150-160 pounds. This is what is considered healthy for my height. I don't have skewed visions of what I want to look like I just know it needs to be healthier than what I've ever been at and I'm so sick of being over weight.

It's only Thursday so I'll most likely blog again on Saturday- my weigh day- but had to get that whole modeling thing off my chest. It's been a tough week (who am I kidding? Every week is a tough week when you're addicted to food) but I'm still going! There seems to be a lot of chocolate around my office recently, I'm not sure why but there is. They are just the mini's but that's how it starts ohhh just a few minis won't hurt! But when you're on weight watchers those add up big time so I will eat 2 or 3 (about 3 points for 3 pieces)  and then hide the rest in my desk, after about 5 minutes I forget they are there and I'm good to go until the next day when I open my drawer for something and they are in there, haha. Didn't get a chance to eat breakfast today, so I had a ton of points left over and that's bad. I'm also heavily looking for a new job as I have outgrown my current position so there is that added stress. I am taking a day off work tomorrow (I figure I better use them before I lose them!) but I plan to keep my son from daycare and spend the day with him and actually take him to work because there are some gals there who keep bugging me that want to see him. So, yes I'm taking the day off and then I'll be there. Weird. Anyway, O look the photo shoot is over, thank god. :) Thanks everyone (anyone?) listening to my bitch fit :)

Saturday, February 2, 2013

A week (ok, a few days) of being sick. What's the result?

This week started off great! I was still on track with my weight watchers and then *dun, dun, dunnnnnn* it hit! I got the COLD. Stuffed up, runny nose, massive pressure headache, etc. BLAH. I NEVER come home sick from work (I mean never. in three years this is my first "sick" day, I did leave early ONCE when I was pregnant but that was it!) but I left at 10 on Wednesday and then Thursday I left at 3:30. Thursday was the worst. I had a huge migraine and the rustling of papers was literally enough to set me off, it was so bad it was making me queasy. ANYWAY, why am I sharing this? Because this is a blog bout food and my addiction, well when I'm at home what am I around? FOOD! Though we had little in the house I'm like a freaking hound dog sniffing at anything I can quickly pop in my mouth. I was quite glad I didn't have any snacking items. I ended up having a small plate of chips with cheese melted and *hangs head low*dipped my finger in the thing of cake frosting that lurks in the back of the fridge, I know, that's horrible but that's a day in my life. I was very proud I hd a spoon in my hand to get a good scoop of the frosting but I stopped and said this is ridiculous, put the spoon back and went and took a bath and then a nap. So, even though I faltered a little bit it was no where near what has happened in the past and I was able to tell myself to stop, which is a huge step for me. I know there have to be skinny people reading this thinking "what is her problem?" But food is an addiction, just like drugs or alcohol or smoking so if you're not addicted to anything you just don't know how it is :(

It's Saturday (weigh day) and I'm still stuffed up, ears plugged but that's ok! I stuck to WW the rest of the week and dragged my butt upstairs to get on my elliptical 3 times and the result?

Lost 2 pounds!!!! WOOO HOOO!!! Also lost 2.5 inches!!!!  This is the lowest weight I've been at now and I've finally broken through that damn plateau I had at the end of 2012 (for the last 4 months I should say!). Anyone who struggles with weight knows the hardships of hitting a plateau. You hit one weight and then next week you're up two lbs then week after that you're down 1 and then week after that you're up 1, back and fourth. I hear ten pounds is easy to lose and then you hit a plateau and then once you're able to get past that the next 10 is easy to lose and then the plateau so I expect to run into more bumps but the important thing is I expect to over come them and continue on my correct path in life.

Some people may think that 2 pounds is nothing but it really is. Anyone who does those fad diets and shed all their weight in the first month are the most likely to gain it all back. Since I'm learning as I'm losing I'm the most likely to keep the weight off. Slow and steady, these are pounds that I've carried around all my life so it's days like these that are really great. Any loss is a loss even if it's as small as .5!

Not only did I lose weight this week but I also sat down and did the monthly budget (which usually means "how much money did we end up pulling from savings to get by this month?"). I was pleasantly surprised! One of our biggest faults is we LOVE to eat out. It's just our (me and Danial's) thing. We like great food. So in December I said we are going to try something and that is NO GOING OUT the entire month of January, he agreed to it and we actually did it! We technically went out three times, 2 we went to Subway but used points on my card so both times was free and the third time I had a $50 gift card to Chili's so we used that and added $2 for a tip since the card didn't quite make 20% so in the end we spent $2 on going out! That is an AWESOME achievement from the $100PLUS that we usually spend. Also, we only spent just over $200 on groceries! Usually we spent $400 plus. I saw something on Pintrest where a mom of 4 spends $200, the secret is shopping every two weeks and not every week. It worked so we are going to try our best to stick with that. I'd love to not eat out at all but I think we can allow ourselves one meal out, we just must be careful to not get crazy. This will be our challenge for February.

Work is hectic as I am growing tired of the politics and boredom it brings, but I did have a great week with my design and printing though! Made a logo for a past client and got them some business cards and that is always something to be happy about. Also, if you readers haven't noticed I've been posting a lot of make-up related items on my Facebook lately. I became part of the street team for Rockeresque Beauty Company where I promote how awesome their company and products are so I'm sorry if you're feeling over-whelemed by me posting my own pictures of my makeup but... deal with it, haha.

In closing, two weeks ago I said when I lose the next 10 pounds I'm going to have one of my jackets altered. See, I have three jackets (these are work jackets- think blazers, that I wear over another shirt). One red one I have most recently been able to fit in, i had bought it about 4 years ago and it was sooo cute but about one size too small so I've never been able to wear it but not it fits like a glove. The other one I never wore because it never fit correctly but I had it altered (for $15) and she took in at leat an inch on each side and now it too fits like a glove. Then this black jacket I have which Danial picked out for me several years ago I love and I've almost worn the button string out on it but it is so HUGE on me. I LOVE THAT! It needs to have AT LEAST 2 inches taken in on each side! So, my reward for getting to the next major turning point is getting that jacket altered to achieve a perfect fit. Can't wait. Sounds so funny but I'm looking forward to it. Another thing I noticed are my PJ's are ill fitting. In the morning I'll wake up and they will literally be falling off because they are so BIG. It's a great feeling. Gotta start saving up my money so I can buy new clothes down the road! I think that and losing my hips (so I have a place to rest my hands, haha) are the only two down falls to losing weight, but hell, I'll take that any day!  I will work on getting some photos but together next week. I'm so self conscious about my body that I wouldn't want Danial to take them but I may just have to suck it up and do it!

In closing it was a great week and I can only pray and work hard to be able to deliver great news next Saturday. See you then!