Thursday, February 7, 2013

Ah well, just another fat girl.

So, here I sit. It's Thursday night. It's 8:37 and two of my friends are upstairs in my home having a little photo shoot. My photographer friend texts me one day and asks if I could contact my friend that he met at our housewarming party so he could use her as a model, through gritted teeth I said ok. If you're a big girl and someone wants you to hook them up with your skinny pretty friend you know where I'm coming from. I get the two together and then he asks if they could shoot at my house! Wow, really? Let's twist that knife in a bit more shall we? So everyone is here, my skinny friend and everyone doting on her and yeah, I'm jealous. I've always wanted to be a model but know I don't have the looks or the body to ever be asked to be one so it's just one of those days where your dreams are dangled in front of your face and everyone laughs and points at you. Not having a pity party just bitching a bit. Bear with me.

I'm not expecting anyone to read these anymore because I'm not going to be publicly making a link on Facebook but if you're reading this my blog is just a story of my weight loss journey and my struggle in life with my weight in general. If you have't read any of my past posts I'm just a big girl, always have been, trying to get myself to a healthy weight. My ultimate goal is 150-160 pounds. This is what is considered healthy for my height. I don't have skewed visions of what I want to look like I just know it needs to be healthier than what I've ever been at and I'm so sick of being over weight.

It's only Thursday so I'll most likely blog again on Saturday- my weigh day- but had to get that whole modeling thing off my chest. It's been a tough week (who am I kidding? Every week is a tough week when you're addicted to food) but I'm still going! There seems to be a lot of chocolate around my office recently, I'm not sure why but there is. They are just the mini's but that's how it starts ohhh just a few minis won't hurt! But when you're on weight watchers those add up big time so I will eat 2 or 3 (about 3 points for 3 pieces)  and then hide the rest in my desk, after about 5 minutes I forget they are there and I'm good to go until the next day when I open my drawer for something and they are in there, haha. Didn't get a chance to eat breakfast today, so I had a ton of points left over and that's bad. I'm also heavily looking for a new job as I have outgrown my current position so there is that added stress. I am taking a day off work tomorrow (I figure I better use them before I lose them!) but I plan to keep my son from daycare and spend the day with him and actually take him to work because there are some gals there who keep bugging me that want to see him. So, yes I'm taking the day off and then I'll be there. Weird. Anyway, O look the photo shoot is over, thank god. :) Thanks everyone (anyone?) listening to my bitch fit :)

1 comment:

  1. I think you are beautiful! Just because someone else doesn't see it, because there area of work looks for the "perfect" person doesn't mean you aren't beautiful! I think you are perfect and just being you is, beautiful!