Monday, October 28, 2013

New Blog Name, Need Your Help!

Ok so when I created this blog the last thing that was on my mind was a title, or name so I just sat thinking for a minute and just came up with something quick to get going. Now, I'd like to change the name! Here are a couple I've come up with:

Does anyone have any other ideas? I am struggling because I want to emphasis this IS a weightloss blog but I want to be more into fashion too!? Ack. Ideas?! Votes for your favorite above? HELP!

Yeaaah.... Really?

It's been a hectic weekend so I'm sorry I didn't post but also, in reality I was pissed off and just didn't find the time to do it. GAINED .4! Seriously. No "cheating", biking EVERYDAY and I gained .4. Yes, still could be muscle build up, etc, wah wah wah but once again I'm changing things up. I get too off put by these weekly weigh ins so starting November, I'm going to weigh the first Saturday in the month and take measurements and photos. I've sen other weight loss bloggers do this and it seems to help to not reply soooo damn much on that F'ing number on the scale. I still feel great, my clothes (even now the size 20's) are feeling loose and it's just that number that still STAYS the damn same! Still not falling off the wagon or anything so that's good. I think I'm over that part. I am bound and determined to break through this plateau! So the next time I get on the scale will be this Saturday but not again until December. I feel this whole year has been a tragic waste. I'm only down 14.6 lbs from the first week in January. At least I'll be ending the year less than what I was last year. That's an easy accomplishment to keep. Curious to see how this goes. I've been stepping on the scale once a week for about two years now, I can imagine myself stepping on it during the week or on a Saturday but not going to record anything. I'll try my hardest to not step on it because that will defeat the whole purpose of this. Whether or not I go back to weekly weigh ins I will still take new measurements each month because I too think those are important.

Enough of my bitching for today.

Thursday, October 24, 2013

Today I Feel: Anxious

Have you ever seen one of those charts that asks you how you feel and you are supposed to select which face you feel? Picture that. Today I'm feeling anxious.  Why you ask? Well I promised myself I'd lose another 2 lbs this week and if I lose it wil be the first time in probably 6 months that I have lost 1-2 lbs for two weeks in a row AND it will be my lowest yet. Can I do it? *announcer voice*Will she make it folks? OR will she falter like so many times past? Stay tuned to find out on this week's episode of... "I'm Fat and I know it". * Yes, I played that little number out in my head just now in my announcer voice. :)  Anyway I was pretty jazzed this week and I've been GREAT! Biked everyday, over 2 miles most were 3 or 4 miles, I haven't gone out to eat, I have been under my calories and eaten a few more when the app yelled at me and said I wasn't eating enough, I am anxious not only to see if I lost weight this week but also pretty excited and want to hope for the best but prepare for the worst, as my mother once said to me.

Also, I have found this past year with me being 100% about the diet, point in case this blog. I've been around 29 years and not once have I thought, "Let's make a blog about losing weight!" No. I've lived life, and had ups and downs with my weight but never was so much of my life dedicated to it. This is both good and bad. Good because I feel I didn't waste my life away striving to be something I wasn't currently I was able to throw caution to the wind and just LIVE. Bad because I feel I missed out on some stuff because my weight was limiting and I feel I've just grown more as a person who wants to take care of them selves so they have a better future with their family type deal. I must find the happy medium, wanting to be able to live and not feel so consumed with calories, and points and the number on the scale or if I eat that how many points is it? How many calories is it? "EAT THE DAMN THING, JUST ONE, BUT DON'T DWELL ON IT!" is what the other side of me is saying. Ok, I feel like I'm rambling now, point? I want to live life to the fullest but still attain some of the cautiousness I posses.

On another note, the tattoo is healing well. Took the plastic bandage off today and now it's just try and tender still. It's beautiful! I have no regrets about getting it.

Whipple- OUT.

Monday, October 21, 2013

OOTD: Hooter Sweater!

Hey kids,

Went to Old Navy to return something I wasn't pleased with and picked up this Owl sweater for 40% off. I had seen it before and tried it on and knew I had to have it the instant I looked at myself. They also had a fox one there but I don't think they had my size, in any event I got this one and have gotten 5 compliments on it today. It's fun! I think it looks great. You know what doesn't look great? These pants that are 5 sizes too big!!!!! Look at how saggy they are, they make me look so stumpy. I still wear them because I like the material more than my other black slacks, they are more of a silky feeling as opposed to wooly feeling and my other ones make me insecure because they seem really short to me, like high waters so I steer clear when I can but after looking at this picture it makes me think it may be time to retire these? I've gotten my money out of them. I think I bought them in 2006 haha. Now you see how ofton I was able to shop! I actually have 3 pairs that I bought at the same time and they are all equally saggy, baggy looking now that I think of it. I'd say about 80% of my wardrobe needs a major overhaul but that will have to wait!

Oh, also,  I now know I'll be able to "let" myself get one of my blazers altered! I know I'll be getting to 259 this week and that was the goal I had set HOW MANY MONTHS AGO that if I did I'd reward myself by getting one of my favorite jackets altered. yay!

Blah blah blah, here's the Owl Sweater:

Also, in one of the other blogs I follow I saw these two images and I'm simply in love with them! The frog one is basically how I feel when I have some delicious morsel in front of me and know I should stop eating but I just can't and the other one needs no introduction:

I really want to buy a pancake necklace now haha. Ok, I'm done for the day!

Saturday, October 19, 2013

Ending the Day still feeling good

Today was a fabulous day. I feel so good about the 4 lb loss, I'm ecstatic. I think the exercise and calorie counting worked in conjunction to slingshot me! I am now .4 lbs away from my lowest I have achieved yet and I KNOW, I promise, I will achieve past that this next week. My husband and I went on an over 4 mile bike ride this afternoon and it was fabulous too. I don't recall getting out of breath once! My thighs started to ache at some points from constant pedaling but, again, not that I recall did I get out of breath and this was the longest we have gone so far!

I also measured myself and have lost about 3 inches in my waist! I triple checked my numbers to make sure that was right. I've also decided to not really have a splurge weekends. I'd usually just not track on the weekends but I think it's crucial to stay on track on the weekends. Saturday went great, I was still under my caloric intake by 4 calories so whoohoo! I think by staying on the right track over the weekends will make me work that much harder during the week.

My husband was right, we made the best decision on getting these bikes and even though it's going to start cooling down I commit to getting out there and riding and challenging myself to new heights! Ok, on this positive note I'm going to bed! ;)

Whipple out.

Scale is moving again! In the right direction I may add!

What a great week! Personally speaking anyway, work sucks. I read a page online I think it was Wednesday on the 8 top reasons you aren't losing weight. Of course I had to read it. The one that I connected with the most was getting discouraged and falling off the wagon when you don't see the scale go down. We rely too much on the scale. Other changes are happening that we can't see on on a day to day basis but they are happening! So th last two weeks were slow going even though I was eating correctly AND biking every day I lost a combined 1 lb so I was discouraged but knew I had to stick with it to get over this plateau and so reading that website story really kept me looking ahead to the goal and guess what?! I lost 4 lbs this week! Amazing! Did I mention I switched over to calorie counting as opposed to the WW app? I think I did. My Fitness Pal is what I'm using and it's pretty good, taking some time to get used to but I like the pointers it gives. After I complete an entry for the day it tells me what I should weigh in 5 weeks if I stay on the current track and of course the disclosure that that is just what could happen not what will happen, but last night I had like 400 calories remaining at 8 o clock and completed my entry and it gave a warning that I'm not eating enough calories. Thank you! This is one of the things that I was worried about last week, not eating enough, as funny as it sounds, so my coworker had made a recipe (we call them Dingle balls) but they are really called Date Energy balls (found here) and I loved them so much so I made them last week. Well, we had 5 left and if I ate 4 I'd get enough calories for the day to not be "starving" so I ate 3, I sacrificed one to my husband :) They were a great desert, perfect sized and really hit the chocolately goodness crave even when there is no chocolate in them.

I DID get the tattoo last night and the most awesome owner of 314 worked with me on the price because that was what I was most worried about and my son is having some health issues right now so I just wasn't sure if I should get a tattoo when my son needs to go see the doctor ($150 a pop), anyway he was so great and we did half of it in trade for priting (which he has been talking about doing for over a year haha) so I just can't say how great that is. It's about 8:20 am on Saturday and I go in today to get the black bandage taken off, get it cleaned and have the clear healing tape put on so then I can see it. The last time I looked at it, aside from the red swelling and bleeding (yuck) it looked freaking fabulous. I'm so excited. My grandmothers beautiful face is now on my shin for eternity and she will always be facing forward and taking me down the correct path in life. Some of my family text me, after I had text them a photo of the stencil, "Wow, that's big!" I responded I'd rather have big and badass than small and not a likeness of her. She was a big part of molding me into who I am and I'm elated to do this for her... Even though she's prob. looking down from heaven cursing me because she hated tattoos but I love them and I loved her so THERE grandma! :)

Also got my iPhone 5S last night and it's nice. I like the slimmer body but taller is weird because I have to stretch my finger up further to access some buttons. The fingerprint scanner is lame because anyone who follows me on Facebook knows I bitched about having to wait a millisecond longer for the new iOS 7 to come on when I tap the home button, but now with the fingerprint scanner it's even longer, I have no patience and I want it to open NOW. I just turned that feature off. I saw an ad for a Android where it would play music with just your voice command and I'm realllllly thinking Apple needs to integrate that because I often think "Man, can't I just tell Siri what I want her to do and when I say some sort of keyword she'll turn on and do it?!" because I don't think I can stand to have another Android. They are doo doo, just too used to loving and owning Apple products. :)

Anywhoo, I'm blabbing because I had a good day. Now, I'll be off shortly to have lunch with my good friend and spend the rest of the day with my husband and son. Back to work after that (Monday, I hate you). Ciao all.

Monday, October 14, 2013

Calorie counting VS Weight Watchers

Still going. Lost a measly .6 lbs this past week. What the hell? My dumb lady monthly thing started today (Monday) so maybe it was still that rearing its ugly head? Biked 5 out of 7 days last week, sadness I had to skip two days because it was a rainy doo doo mess outside! The no pasta/bread was somewhat easy but that didn't seem to help. Am I not eating enough? Surly I'm not over eating as I' always under on my Weight Watcher points so this weeks goal is to do a calori counter. My friend suggested I use MyFitnessPal, a free app, that helps you track calories. We'll see how this goes. Starting sucks because none of my foods are saved so I have to go in and re-enter stuff whereas my Weight Watcher Point tracker had most all my foods entered into it. Oh well, if it helps I'll do it. Can ANYONE suggest anything else?! I can't get past this pleateau and it's driving me mad because I've added some fitness to my routine and so far it doesn't seem to help at all :|

In other news, pretty sure I've found my exercise of choice! This daily biking really makes me feel good! I find myself yearning for the next ride, or another ride, soon after I catch my breath from the first one. Hoping the good weather lasts longer and I can get more rides in. I'm finally starting to feel more comforted on the seat than I was before, that really got me down, but now it's hardly a problem. Today my legs are sore after our weekend riding. We took my husbands kids in their bikes out on Saturday around town and to the park and then did two rides yesterday. Good fun, gets us all out of the house and is good for us.

So, you all know I've recently been on this clothing thing and what's so funny is the two things I'm most self conscious about are my tummy and my arms. My arms are sooooooooo f'ing flabby because that seemed to be where I lost weight first so wearing short sleeves my whole day revolves around not making sudden movements because I don't want that flab to fly, or keeping my arms close to me, as in moving closer to objects so I don't have to extend my arm out as far but I was thinking, I've bought a ton of dresses lately that have skinny shoulder straps. I just thought that was funny as I was looking through my wardrobe to try to find something to wear and all I see is dress dress dress dress etc. :)

Back to calories/weight loss, anyone have any tips? Pretty much still proud of myself for going even after these past three weeks where I've lost like .4 and .6 lbs. Marching on!

Thursday, October 10, 2013

Skin Removal Surgery VS Tattoo.... TATTOO!!!!

For those of you who aren't in my head hearing and seeing the daily battles I have with myself this is for you! In a past post I had mentioned how I sometimes feel like I want to get the surgery for weightless but I grapple with that because #1 I KNOW there are people out there that when you tell them you got the surgery they are like "OH, took the easy way out eh?!" and they think you're a big piece of crap etc. even though they have no idea that it is a lot of work too... from what I hear anyway, #1B I want to lose the weight on my own so when people ask I can say yep, did it myself, weight watchers, exercise and good habits finally paid off... or whatever word formation I will spout out at the time (even though now that I'm thinking about it if I ever DID get the surgery I could just say I eat right and exercise because I'd still have to eat right and exercise... hummm...) and feel good about doing it on my own. #2, risks! there are a lot of risks that come with major surgeries that I'm not sure if I want to chance. Lastly, #3, Insurance won't pay for the initial surgery so I can't imagine ponying up the amount for the surgery. One thing is for sure the day I get near my ultimate goal (150-160) I will have a LOT of loose skin that I will want removed. I hear it's a painful surgery but totally worth it. Right now I have so much flab in my arms it battles for first place in being the body part I'm most self conscious of and hate the most so I can only imagine as I go further along in my journey other body parts will become a flabby mess too! SO if I ever got the weight loss surgery I'd have to pay for both procedures out of pocket so I always told myself I'd rather lose the weight on my own and opt for the skin removal at the end of the journey.

Now, I read an eCard the other day that said "Welcome to middle class. Where you have enough money to pay your bills and taxes and not anything else" or something along those lines and I couldn't agree more! I make a lot (I think?) for the area I live in and at the end of the money we're still pulling money out of savings! I know my clothes shopping was insane lately and there are always major items that seem to creep up but I'll have to take out a small loan to get this surgery because Lord knows insurance won't pay so I keep thinking I need to save up for that, then what do I go and do? Schedule a tattoo for next week! I can't help myself! :( It's going to be a beautiful portrait of my grandma that I'm so stoked about. So there is the problem. Spend the hundreds on a tattoo that is going to be beautiful and a constant reminder of the love I had for my grandma and pull the money out of savings or not get it and  in reality not save the money I would of spent on the tatty but years down the line wish I had a special savings account for?! ACK! I hate being poor and we're not technically poor! Ridiculous. I have money issues. Maybe I should start allocating some small amount into a fund each week or month for the skin removal surgery so WHEN the time comes it won't be such a blow? Should I not get the tattoo because I know there are other things the family/household needs instead? I feel terrible spending money on myself and only do it rarely (with the exception of my clothes spree lately, if you see my closet and all the ill fitting clothes I have you'd send me money too haha)  and when I DO make a big purchase I fight about that in my head on weather or not I should of done and if I should take it back, I'd say 50% of the time I take it back.  ANYWAY, thoughts? Opinions?

Wednesday, October 9, 2013

OOTD- Red Dress

For my husbands birthday (this past May) I decided to have some semi risque photos of myself as a gift for him. I had put off finding clothes for this until that last minute, imagine that! I went to the Dress Barn and found this dress and thought it was perfect for the pin uppy feel I was going for. I grabbed it, in a size 22 (I was used to getting a 24) because that was all they had left and I was bummed, I decided to try it on anyway! I got into the dressing room and right off the bat knew it wouldn't fit, but I kept going to see how terrible I'd look in it. I pulled it down and holy crap it fit, like a glove! I instantly loved it and HAD to have it. Of course I bought it. I have worn it to work twice now and I feel a bit self conscious in it because it does fit like a glove and it's about 2 inches shorter than I'm comfortable with but I still like it and I feel pretty in it.This outfit is actually from last week, sorry guys, I wanted to post the hounds tooth dress first! :D

Next time I'll iron it!
Now that I'm looking at it, it isn't as tight as I imagine. I love that!

Tuesday, October 8, 2013

OOTD - Houndstooth

Yesterday I had posted that I got this fabulous dress from Walmart, you can see it below! I had wandered into the clothes section there  because I noticed they had some UBER cute stuff out lately but didn't have the change to stop and check sizes. That day I did and to my surprise they went up to an XXL, my new size, so I got crazy... within the time limit that I thought my husband wouldn't miss me. I picked up two sweaters that were the same but different colors, a skirt, a button down sweater and this dress. All except this dress are going back, I think. I don't know if they had plus size gals in mind when they made those other items. The skirt, while cute, was very bushy looking where the elastic met the fabric adding volume where I definitely don't need it and the zipper was cheap so I just didn't even have a second where I thought I might keep it. The 2 same sweaters I got are darling, one seemed smaller than the other and the buttons pulled something awful so you could just peek right under neath. The other, I'm actually having a mind battle inside my head weather or not to keep it. It would be a perfect piece to wear with my striped pencil skirt, and I really don't have any other tops that aren't patterned to wear with that skirt sooooo I might keep that too. We'll see how I feel in a couple days. Ok, blah blah blah, here's the dress:

My mother made me do this pose. I feel so dumb when she's taking my pic so I obliged!
 It's a fabulous Houndstooth print dress that flares just at the midsection and flows away from the body, doing wonders for my figure. It came with a thin black belt and I learned the last time from wearing a thin black belt that I look pregnant so I nixed that thing and wore this black belt that I got from Torrid years ago. I had originally put a badass thick red belt with it but alas it's WAY TOO BIG and I doubt I can ever wear it again, unless I wear it over some sort of coat. It's depressing but inspiring at the same time! Speaking of coats.... did I mention I was at Old Navy this past week? YES AGAIN! Don't judge me monkey. I had a 25% off deal and wah wah wah, they have certainly reeled me in with their unlimited supply of 20% off discounts. I tried this coat on and I COULD NOT leave the store without it. It's so dang cute! I can picture myself wearing it with some cutesy pink scarf thing (this will prob. never happen but it's a cute image in my mind ok!) and I had to get it, plus it fit like a glove and it's a pea coat. Nuff said. Here it is too:

Should of buttoned up all the way so you can see its true beauty!

It's adorable and I love it! I am really loving the things that are coming with my weight loss. Posts like these make it possible for me to keep going and telling myself that I can do this and reach my goal of 200 lbs by next September! Go team!

Monday, October 7, 2013

Mini Goal's

Hey Kids,

I am going to say I made my last mini goal last week. My goal was to bike everyday during the week, even if it were for a small amount of time, just get out of the house and go! I did everyday except Thursday because it was like a blustery ballsack outside and there was no way I was taking myself or my son out in that, then Friday it was still pretty windy but not as bad, I had originally planned to not go but my son kept saying "ride? ride? ride? ride? ride? ride?" he's like a broken record BUT it was motivation enough to get me to go. It was good and bad. Good because I actually got out and got the much needed exercise and bad because it WAS so damn windy! I literally had to turn around after going down one street because the wind resistance was terrible and it was chilly! Anyway, the seat on the bike is STILL hurting my *ahem* lady area so the hubster and myself may go in the bike shop sometime this week to have my ass bones measured to see if I can get a more comfortable seat, still peadled on through it yesterday. My friend and I went out Wednesday last week and she was saying how in no time I'd be able to get up these little hills and it's so funny because yesterday I was in 6th great the whole time and did notice I blasted right up a hill that had rendered me breathless last time and I only went to 5th gear on the hill by our home so that was great! Usually a good portion of the ride is spent in Granny 1st gear so that's good.

The bad news? I gained a pound this past week. I know right?! I'm outraged BUT I'm thinking it's a 1 of 2 things if not both: 1: My monthly lady exclamation is hangign over my head so I'm probably all bloated and what not and 2: since I DID bike 99% of the week maybe my legs are gaining muscle? If so it will pay off in the end but I always hate seeing the scale go up when I've worked so hard.

So, as promised, here I am blogging my at-least-once-a-week-post and also setting another mini goal so I am not discouraged and brought down into the same funk I usually am after gaining and working so hard the prior week.

Not only will I bike everyday, even if just 5 minutes, but I am also cutting out the dreaded CARBS. This may or may not be permanent but I need a boost. I LOVE pasta and I LOVE delicious magical bread items so I think this will be a great challenge for me. The pasta deal is going to be toughest because we as a family eat pasta, in fact, tonight's meal that is currently in the slow cooker calls for pasta but I will scoop my meal out before I put the pasta in. I will do my very best to avoid these key items. I was going to do carbs AND sugar but figured I'd aim low because if I do  sugars I'd do processed doo doo food as well so let's take it one week at a time and see how well I do!

I bought a killer dress at Walmart of all places and I'm excited to show it off so look forward to that post late this week!

Whipple, out!

Wednesday, October 2, 2013

Guest Post!

I follow a blogger and she recently asked for guest bloggers so this was my chance to get an idea out that I had been pondering for a while! You can read my guest post Here ! It's about my undies though, so you've been forewarned! :D

Remember how good it feels when.......

The title of this post is my recent inspiration. "Remember how good it feels when...." I get a compliment on how great I look, or I'm able to fit into smaller clothes, etc. This is what is keeping me motivated right now. When I want to eat something that I know I don't need and I know the calories are off the charts I think of that inspiration line and 8 times out of 10 I pass on the naughty food. Those other 2 times I'm like "Screw it, Life's too short, I'm eating that!" In my last post I set the goal of getting out on the new bike at least once a day this week and so far I'm meeting that goal, yes, it's only Wednesday but the fact that I still enjoy doing it is a feat in itself! I also set a goal on my Run Keeper App to go 7 miles this week and I'm already 70% there. I set my goals low so I can overcome them! Next week I'll bump it up to 8 miles and so on. I feel pretty good about the cycling, I'm also going to another pole dancing class this month with my friend and I'm excited for that as well.

I've got a super busy month ahead of me but I love it. Better than being a bump on a log! What is your inspiration? Do you have inspiration?