Saturday, November 2, 2013

Bitter Sweet

Ok, Nov 1st. STarting of the weigh only once a month and measure and take photos saga. I need this. I gained F'ing 2.4 lbs this week. REALLY? I HATE YOU SCALE!!!! I have been pooping my ass off because my son brought home a bug and first dad got it then me so my mom said "Maybe it's your body retaining water because you've lost so much?!" My retort was  "It's always something!" because it really seems like it is. First it's my period, then it's "a lb of muscle weighs more than a lb of fat "( last time I checked a pound is a pound?!), now it's water retention. Whatever, F you scale! My husband, when talking about what the scale told him he says it's a compulsive liar, and I believe it. Ok, so now that the scale issue is out of the way I have snuck off to measure. The last time I measured was October 19th and I have before in the past but never wrote a date down so the I'm just going to post what the earliest recordings are. I'm actually happy with these which is proof that measuring an weighing only once a month will be killer good for me and my "must get to a certain number" mind set. Here's the results:

There you have it. My big ol body measurements! Again, since I don't have a date (I really think it was around 6 months ago) for the first time nor did I measure for each category you get an idea! In my bust I've lost 1.75" in my waist I've lost 2", stayed the same in my tummy, lost .5 in my thigh, and 1.5" in my calf! A total loss of 5.75 inches. That's amazing! I think it's even more amazing because "they" say it's always hardest to lose the inches because that fat's been there the longest (or something? haha). I'm surprised my thighs haven't lost more since I can feel them burn while peddling the bike but I guess it's more calf muscle than anything, eh? If we go off the first measurements I've lost a total of 11.75 in the categories that I measured for. So, I'm extremely happy about this. I'm glad I snuck off to do this because I needed to and it's part of this and it's made me feel better about that fucking scale making it a point to ruin my life. The next Saturday next month is a whole week in to December so do you think I should do the last Saturday in November or just literally start at the first of each month? Saturday's have always been my weigh days so I just get all freaked out about changing the days even though now that I'm doing once a month it really shouldn't matter, right? 

Whipple, out. 

Friday, November 1, 2013

OOTD: Walmart Special and Outcast feelings

Yes. Tomorrow is Saturday, my first 1 month weigh in, measure and photo taking. Even if I get on the scale and it is up I'm gearing myself up to see what happens. Again, I'm putting too much stock into the number on the scale and not enough thought into my other numbers and factors. I feel great, I'm able to bike farther/easier, clothes still fitting great, etc. So, we'll see. I'll post my first measurements here, EEK!, but ya know, whatever.

Lately, I've been kind of feeling like a blogger outcast. While this did start of a weight loss blog I really fell into the Fat Positive Movement. And if you haven't heard about that, Google it, basically it's people loving their bodies as it is. I've blogged about it before and it's really great BUT most of the F.A. people are against any sort of Diet talk and you MUST love your body how it is... that's great for them but I DO not love my body as it is. I should, but I don't. We all should, but we don't. I know my great husband married me at my highest weight and he doesn't care about my weight but I'm sure he does care when I shy away from his touch, or throw a MAJOR fit when he see's me getting dressed in the morning, or the fact that I've only just recently let him keep the light on in the shower (yes we shower together and it took all sorts of guts on my end however many years ago to get past this, but it's usually always done in the dark, or light from the closet). There are certain spots I bite his face off if he tries to touch (my hideous belly, gross arms, back rolls, etc.), so no I am not happy with my body BUT I don't think I any longer have this delusional image in my head that I'll be some skinny HAPPY girl. I know I'll always be a "plus size" girl but my body won't limit me from doing certain things. It's not that I'm not happy now, I am pretty happy, but I want to be able to do more.  Blah blah blah, so I can't be a part of the Fat Positive movement can I be a part of the weight loss crowd? I kinda want to be in the middle. I want to start my own movement!
Wow, Anyway! The entire reasons behind this post was my outfit today. I was at Walmart the other day and found this great black and grey striped dress for like $14 and I wanted to get it because I thought it would look great with my first pair of real leggings, also from Walmart, for like $9! I really didn't have any sort of outfit to go with the leggings as everything was not cut right or too busy of a pattern and I got 3 compliments on this today. The photo is pretty silly in it self but I didn't go see my mom at lunch (my usually photographer of my outfits, haha) so this will have to do for now. I really need to geta  better one. I, as always, ditched the belt the dress came with and wore my wide black belt and a cardigan from Lane Bryant. I love the little detail in the neck line of the dress. It's really adorable. Ok, here's the bad picture :) Let you "all" know how tomorrow goes!