Thursday, June 16, 2016

Pre and Post Pregnancy

9 LONG GRUELING months have now past and here I sit with a newborn at my feet and a 4.5 year old at my side. I never thought to imagine me a mom times 2 but here I am! It's been 1 week since I had my second son and life is starting to form a new normal. My body is still going through it's healing process after 9 months of being stretched, prodded and worn out. Hell, I'm still recovering from birth last week. I have places that are sore that I have no idea why they'd be sore! Birth, man. What a drag yet at the same time so rewarding and special. It's totally surreal to hold a 9.1 lb (yes, he was 9 lbs!) 22" human in your arms and think "Holy shit I made you and you came from my body?! How did you even fit in there??" The last few months of my pregnancy were hard mentally and physically for me. I gained just under 50 lbs and that alone was hard (I gained 30 with my first son) but I just felt SO huge. Not huge like "Oh my God Becky, I'm SO FAT!" but a "I can't get in and out of the car without huffing and puffing" my body was limiting a limited day.

My husband says I felt that way at the end of my last but I do NOT remember that at all (he also says I have baby amnesia!). These last few weeks I was past ready to get this baby bean out of me and get my body back to some sort of normal. In that time I had a lot of hours to reflect on my body and all the amazing things it can do, including squeeze out another human! The night we got home from the hospital I made a beeline for the shower and actually got to shave my legs and dry my entire body off! Oh, it felt amazing! I got out of the shower feeling anew. I looked in the mirror (can't avoid it since it's right in front of the shower) and was SO happy to have my body back. Yes, 50 lbs heavier (well probably 40 now that the monster is out) but in love that I could grab and squish my tummy again. No longer tight from a growing uterus and no longer sticking so far out I could see it in my peripheral vision, I found a new love for the part I've hated for so long and even more during the last months of pregnancy.

I feel a sense of well being and needing to take care of my body more. Again, I'd love to eat healthy, know I'm eating healthy, and just feel great. I want to be able to play with my kids, especially my oldest since he's SO active, and concentrate on them and not the ways my body is inhibiting me from doing things I want to do or enjoying things I should be able to enjoy. Starting off a new, old, journey again of self help and self care. Eating right and eventually working in that exercise I need.  For now, I'm just lucky to say I've got that 4.5 year old at my side and a newborn at my feet. Such a blessed life that I don't want to take fro granted.